


A House Divided

by Lapin



Series: Shakespeare in Love [1]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Genre: Friendship, Grad School AU, M/M, Modern AU, The Disaster Trio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-01-12 23:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21234302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapin/pseuds/Lapin
Summary: Grad school sucks, but Josh is making it work. He's got his best friend, he's got Vas, and if he's got to have a mortal enemy, Emma Cullen is at least a worthy adversary. It's a careful balance, but it's working.Then Red had to go and fuck it all up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In which Joshua Faraday is bad at emotions and adulting. 
> 
> And you know, I was going to blame North for this, but I don't think this particular one is actually her fault. Anyway, I'm also [The March Rabbit](www.tumblr.com/themarchrabbit) on Tumblr, and I take prompts on there when I'm feeling uninspired! This latest round of prompts has gotten the gears moving good, so more updates soon!

"You’ve been _what_?” Josh has to put his beer down before he does something really stupid, like drop it on the floor. Vas will get mad if he spills it on the rug. 

Red keeps looking at him, but he’s got his eyebrows up. In Red-speak, that usually means he’s waiting for someone else to keep talking, but Josh doesn’t have anything else to say except: “What the _fuck_, man?” 

Since Red is still just looking at him, and Josh can’t think of anything, they’re both sitting in absolute silence when Vas walks in through the front door. 

“Did someone die?” he asks, shrugging out of his hoodie and hanging it on the hook. 

“Red’s about to,” Josh says, grabbing his beer and draining it. 

“You wanna go?” Red offers. 

“Take it outside,” Vas says, sitting down beside Josh while pulling his phone out. “And my money’s on him, Josh.” 

“I could take him.” He definitely couldn’t, but a man’s got to defend his pride. “And you might want in on it, anyway.”

Vas tips his head back on the couch. “I just worked ten hours straight, and I have to teach a class at eight tomorrow. All I want is a beer, a shower, and bed. Whatever he did this time, I don’t fucking care.” 

Yeah, Josh would usually believe that, but not today. Not this time. Red’s gone too damn far. “Red’s been fucking Emma’s little minion.” 

That does the trick; Vas sits up, and looks around Josh at Red. “You’ve been _what_?” 

“Yeah,that.” He can’t sit still anymore, so he gets up and grabs another beer for himself, and one for Vas. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Vas asks, a damn good question from where Josh is standing. “And what does that even mean? More than once?” 

Josh hands the beer over to Vas, then gestures at Red. “Go ahead, asshole, tell him what you told me.” 

“And get your damn boots off the coffee table. We put food on this thing,” Vas adds. 

Red sits up in the chair, his boots thumping on the carpet. “It wasn’t going to be a thing. Now it is.” He looks between them. “Get over it.” 

“How is it a _thing_?” Vas asks, which is another good question. “You’ve never had a _thing_ with anyone. You don’t even talk to people who aren’t us.” He gestures between himself and Josh. “And I didn’t even know your last name until we had to renew the lease!” 

“Did it change your life?” Red mutters at the ceiling, then stands up, grabbing his cigarettes off the coffee table, and walking out the front door, which, yeah. Maybe they all need a break, and maybe some nicotine will help Red regain his damn sanity. 

And since Red’s been his best friend since middle school, Josh doesn’t actually want to fucking kill him. 

“Is he serious?” Vas asks. 

Everything in him wants to say this is just Red fucking with the both of them, but he can’t. “Nah. He didn’t exactly come clean on his own. Teddy posted a picture on Instagram, and Billy saw it.” How that had even happened was some kind of six degrees of separation; Goody, who was a neutral party in this whole thing, was the one who actually followed Teddy, because Goody lived on social media, and Billy had been using Goody’s phone when it got posted. Billy, being the homewrecker he was, had sent it to Josh. 

“Red let him post a picture on _Instagram_?” 

Josh gets his phone out of his pocket so he can show Vas, because he still can’t believe it. Red had managed to convince the school that his tribe genuinely believed pictures stole a person’s soul when he was ten. And now this. Instagram. Teddy is even holding an iced coffee. It feels wrong to even look at the damn thing. 

“Huh,” Vas says, handing the phone back. “How did this even happen?” 

“Hell if I know.” It doesn’t make any sort of sense. He can count on one hand the people Red will actually talk to, and that definitely doesn’t include anyone from the damn biology department. “I didn’t even know he knew where their building was.” 

Vas whistles, long and low, then says, “No way this ends well. Does Emma know?” 

“If Teddy’s putting it on Instagram, probably.” Maybe she’d take care of this mess and kill Teddy herself for not being a good little minion. 

“Well,” Vas says, and stands up. “Fuck this. I’ve been up since six.” He points at Josh. “We’ll deal with this shit later, alright?” He rubs his eyes, and walks away, muttering something that doesn’t sound all that happy in Spanish. Not that Josh blames him. He wasn’t exactly happy to come home to this either. “I’m taking that shower, and getting some sleep.” 

By the time Red comes back inside, Josh has heard the shower start up, and the hot water heater is humming in the utility closet loud enough he’s given up on hearing the TV. It’s a repeat anyway, but it helps drown out the neighbors on the other side of the shared wall. 

Red sits back down in the chair.

“What’s your end game, here?” Josh asks. 

Red shrugs. 

“I’m serious.” Red shrugs again, which is seriously starting to piss Josh off. “Dude, we have been fighting over funding with their stupid department for two years.” They’ve been going at it with the biology department for funding for anything and everything; space, recognition, hell, all the way down to who got a new coffee machine this semester. 

All that wouldn’t be so bad on its own, but it’s been personal since pretty much Day One of grad school, when Emma Cullen showed up.

“Come on, Red,” he says. “If you’re just doing this to start shit -”

Red doesn’t let him finish. Instead, he gets up, and heads to the back of the house, where his bedroom is. Red’s not the type to slam doors, but the fact Josh can hear him shut it tells him he’s pissed Red off. 

Well, Red started it, so fuck him. 

Josh is still pretty damn annoyed by morning, but he’s got actual work to do, and by the time lunch rolls around, he’s mostly forgotten about Red’s descent into insanity. Sam’s got him grading the freshmen, because Sam is a fucking asshole, and when Vas shows up with food, he’s only too happy to shut his laptop.

“Sam still got you in charge of the kids?” Vas asks, sliding a container towards Josh. “Least you don’t have to teach them anymore. Think that’s a win for everyone.” Without asking, he picks some chicken out of Josh’s lo mein with his chopsticks. “You ever notice no one makes Red teach anything?”

“Chew with your mouth closed, we’re civilized around here,” Josh says. “And Sam did try to make him teach. Remember? He got out of it after that spring semester.” Vas frowns at him, so Josh says, “The stalkers?” 

Vas takes a minute, then laughs. “I forgot about that. You think someone would have noticed how popular that programming class got for _auditing_ after he taught the fall semester.” He tries to steal another piece of chicken, but this time Josh manages to stop him with his own chopsticks. “Come on, you got more in yours.”

“That sounds like a whole lot of your problem,” Josh says, pulling his food closer to him. 

“Speaking of problems,” Vas says, winding noodles around his chopsticks. “What are we doing about Red sleeping with the enemy?” 

“Damn it, Vas, why’d you have to bring that up?” He was doing just fine not thinking about that. “I’d put good money on him doing this just to fuck with us.”

“Don’t know. Gonna piss off Emma more than anyone.”

“Red’s good at multitasking,” Josh says. “Seriously though, how did those two even meet?” 

Vas pulls his phone out, and brings up Instagram. “Hold on, there’s a timeline.” 

“Red doesn’t believe in Instagram.” Disregarding that one post, Red hated shit like Instagram, but that was because Josh was pretty sure Red was allergic to people knowing anything about him. He’d never even had a Facebook back when they were in high school. 

“More power to him, but Teddy does.” Vas shows Josh. “Also, he has a lot of followers. You think he’s secretly an influencer, or something?” 

“Grad school ain’t cheap,” Josh admits. He can fault Teddy for pretty much everything short of existing in general, but a hustle is a hustle, and that deserves some grudging respect. “What do you mean, timeline?” 

“Look,” Vas says, showing Josh. It’s a post from two months ago, from a house party looks like. It’s a selfie, but Red is in the photo too, leaning against the wall beside Teddy. “This has been going on for awhile, Josh. That’s a little long for a joke. I think he’s serious.” 

Josh is going to fucking kill him. Later. When he doesn’t have papers to grade, and lesson plans to look over for Sam, and that’s all sitting pretty in his schedule ahead of his own work. He probably doesn’t have time to kill Red and dispose of his body today. “How does he even have time for this? I don’t fucking have time for a life.” 

Vas shrugs. “I don’t know. Does he even sleep? ‘Cause I’ve never seen him sleep.” 

“Red’s not cool enough to be a vampire.” Vas makes a face, and shrugs, but Josh stands by that statement. People only think Red is cool because he’s hot and he never talks enough for anyone to get a good read on him. Josh has known him since they were both ten, though. Whatever, he’ll make time to kill him. “Hey,” he says, reaching over and taking Vas’ drink. “You don’t gotta order mine spicy too.”

“I like it spicy,” Vas says. 

“See, that don’t explain why mine has to be too.” 

“I paid for it, quit complaining.” They’ve had this argument before about a hundred times, not that it ever changes anything. He’s pretty sure it’s just a counter-measure against Red. Red might not be a vampire, but he keeps weird hours depending on the semester, and he’s a gym rat too. Anything he’s willing to eat left where he can get to it disappears quick. 

That had taken some settling when Vas moved in. Josh can eat, but Vas and Red are something else. The only difference is that Vas will eat anything, and Red’s a fucking weirdo about food. “Falafel truck back yet?” If it is, that’s dinner.

“Nah. Think we might have to break and go to the grocery store,” Vas says. That sucks. The nearest grocery store is a Safeway that’s always full of students and professors, the mortal enemies of grad students everywhere. Or maybe they’re both just lazy assholes. Little bit of Column A, little bit of Column B. “When are you going to be done?” 

“Fuck that shit, I’m leaving at three. It’s Friday. Sam gets to keep shitty office hours, I say we follow the leader.” Sam’s office hours are pretty much ‘no’, ‘go away’, and ‘figure it out’.

“Aw, but then the little freshman won’t get their grades posted before they get drunk,” Vas mocks. “So many sad and panicking drunk children.”

“That’s why we live off-campus.” 

They both end up taking off at three, Josh ignoring the emails he gets from his ‘students’ asking when grades are going to be posted. Posting grades was a mistake in the first place. Let ‘em suffer until Monday like he had to. 

The food truck situation outside is nada, like Vas said, so they bite the bullet and go to the store. It’s mostly empty, but that’s going to change quick once people get off work, so they try to get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible. There’s a lot of shit discounted that they get to first though, so that’s a win for being semi-functioning adults. 

He texts Red to ask him what he wants, and they’ve already paid by the time he remembers he’s mad at him. Red was probably banking on that. Asshole. 

“Don’t break the eggs, dumbass,” Vas says, when Josh puts the bag down on the counter. “We want to live past thirty, we need protein that doesn’t come out of a truck. And also, I paid for them.” 

“They’re fine,” Josh says, checking after he gets the carton out. He sticks them in the fridge with the milk, then the rest of the stuff Vas hands to him. “I don’t get it, man. I really fucking don’t.” 

Vas folds up the brown paper bags, sticking them beside the recycling bin. “What?” 

“Red seeing Emma’s flying monkey,” Josh says. It’s seriously pissing him off the more he thinks about it. 

“It’s not like there’s anything we can actually do about it, you know. I was kidding.” Vas grabs one of the packs of chicken they’d gotten, and starts getting seasoning out of the cabinet. “It’s weird, and he’s a fucking traitor, but he’s our friend, and more importantly, he pays his share of the bills.” That’s a good point to add to the reasons not to kill Red, Josh has to admit. “And hey, if Red keeps Teddy happy, maybe Emma will back off on some of the funding shit.” 

“That’s not the point,” Josh argues. “He shouldn’t have been sneaking around with him behind my back.” 

“‘Behind your back’?” Vas echoes, eyebrows raised. The way he says it makes it sound wrong. “What, you been dating Red this whole time? That would have been nice to know.” 

“Yeah, I’d rather die,” Josh says. “You know what I mean.” 

“I know you’re being really weird,” Vas replies. “Even for you. Do you know how weird that is?” He turns the chicken over, starting on the other side. “Look, Josh, Red’s going to do what he’s going to do. It’s shady as fuck who he’s doing it with, but could be worse. Could be a Humanities major.” 

That’s still not the point, but Josh doesn’t even know what his point is right now, except that he’s pissed off. “Last thing we fucking need. Goody’s bad enough. I don’t know why Billy puts up with him.” 

“It’s called ‘love’, Josh,” Vas says, nudging him when Josh steps around him. “Speaking of, Goody texted, he wants to know if we want to come over tomorrow night. They’re having the, what’s it called, ‘wrap party’?” Josh shrugs. He hasn’t crossed into the art freak side of the campus since he finished his requirements for his bachelor’s. “He says he doesn’t want Billy to get bored.” 

“Yeah, I don’t want to spend my Saturday night in a house full of actors. Billy married him, that’s his problem.” 

“True,” Vas agrees. “But there’ll be food. And alcohol. The kind we don’t have to pay for.” 

“Yeah,” Josh says, still not sold. “But counterpoint; there’ll be actors. And the rest of them. The ones with the make-up and shit.” 

“Think they’re called techs,” Vas mutters, looking at his phone again. “Be helpful, start slicing potatoes.” 

“What am I, your bitch?” He gets them out of the pantry, and starts washing one, trying to scrub the dirt off. 

“Hey, asshole, I do ninety percent of the cooking around here, so go fuck yourself.” 

Josh places one potato on the cutting board. “Does that make you my bitch?” 

“I’m holding a fucking knife, you see that, right?” 

“You ain’t gonna stab me with one of your fancy-ass kitchen knives,” Josh says, scrubbing another potato. “They were a gift from your mommy.” She’d brought them as a house-warming gift, actually, on her second visit to the place. Her first visit, she’d poked around like no one’s business, and then the next thing Josh knew, they had real dishtowels and a soap dish for the sink shaped like a frog. It had been nice, and the kind of shit moms were supposed to do, but Josh also thought she’d used them as an excuse to clean out her garage of her old stuff. 

Either way, they’d gotten free stuff. He’d take it. And he liked Vas’ mom. Ms. Elena was awesome. She told them really awful stories about Vas from when he was a kid and she always brought food.

Vas keeps on cutting the chicken. “These knives are made to cut through bone, Josh. Don’t test me.” 

“You kill me here in the house, no way you’re getting the security deposit back.” 

“I do want that back,” Vas says. “And I’d probably miss you, eventually,” he adds. “Plus, I kill you, Red kills me.” 

“I don’t know if Red loves me that much,” Josh says, thinking about it. “He might maim you a little bit. He might be willing to do three-to-five years for me.” Maybe. “ He won’t go tomorrow night.” Even when they first got to college, way back in freshman year, Red hadn’t liked going anywhere he didn’t have to. He didn’t really drink, so it wasn’t like there was any appeal for him. “But if you’re going, I’ll go.” Him, Vas and Billy will just end up hanging out in the den, but Billy’s always good for poker and making fun of students. Better way to spend Saturday night than Netflix and grading. “Billy’s got the good weed. We’ll steal his.”

“You really know how to charm a man, _guero_,” Vas says, hand over his heart. 

“Quit calling me that.” Vas is always calling him and Red shit in Spanish. “I ain’t buying you flowers, jackass, so take what you get.” He checks the time again, then hitches his chin at Vas. “Speaking of, Red’s not going to be home for about an hour.” It’s been a depressing day, and Josh could use some cheering up.

They don’t really talk about this thing; probably shouldn’t. Talking makes things messy, and their lives are messy enough. But it’s definitely convenient. He never really got the whole ‘friends-with-benefits’ thing before Vas, probably because Red was his only friend. It’s different with Vas though.

“Let’s finish this first,” Vas says, putting the seasoned chicken into the good ceramic pan and covering it. “I want to eat at a decent hour tonight.” He starts slicing the potatoes Josh has washed himself, easier with the task than Josh will ever be. His mom hadn’t been any sort of cook, and he still barely knows what the fuck he’s doing in the kitchen. He didn’t even know what a marinade was before he met Vas. 

The food prep only takes about another fifteen minutes, so that leaves them plenty of time to go upstairs. It’s Vas’ room today. Josh’s is against the wall they share with the other half of the duplex, and their shitty neighbors are having another fight. A bad one, because they can still hear them in Vas’ room. 

“Jesus fucking wept,” Josh curses, trying to concentrate on Vas. “How many times is Loretta going to cheat on her before Missy kicks her out?” 

“‘Love makes fools of us all’,” Vas says mockingly, unbuttoning Josh’s jeans. 

That sounds like some Shakespeare bullshit, and Josh ain’t about that life. He kisses Vas to shut him up, and get his own head in the game. His favorite part of the day is getting to fool around with Vas, and they don’t always get time for this. It’s an unspoken rule they don’t do this when Red is around, and that doesn’t leave them a lot of free time. 

Man, does he love this part of the day. Sex with Vas is easy. They like the same things, and they’ve got each other down pat by now. It’s so easy, and so good. 

“Vas,” he hisses, when Vas finally stops messing around and gets his mouth on Josh’s cock. “Why’re you such a damn tease?” 

“Not a tease if I follow through,” Vas says, biting Josh’s hip. Josh pulls his hair just for that, maybe. He likes Vas’ hair though, likes to get his hands in it when they can do this. Likes everything about Vas, really. 

Vas gets him good and worked up before he pulls off and comes back up to kiss Josh, settling between Josh’s legs and jacking them both together. Josh tries to help, but Vas likes it when Josh lets him have control, likes it when Josh just touches him the whole time, so that’s what he focuses on. Kisses Vas, everywhere he can, has his hands all over. Vas is warm, always warm, laughing and licking Josh’s ear when he bites down on Vas’ shoulder. 

“Come on, Joshua, going to let me do all the work?” he asks, pinning Josh down on the bed, and kissing him hard, his hand working faster. “What you got for me?”

That’s a challenge, but Josh is already coming. He takes a minute, breathing through it, kissing Vas, pushing Vas’ head down when Vas starts biting at his collarbone. He gets a hand around Vas though, strokes him until Vas comes too.

They use the sheets to clean up, and when Vas checks his phone, he tells Josh they’ve got a few minutes before they have to get up and get dressed again. That means Josh has a good few minutes of lying there with his head on Vas’ chest, letting Vas run his fingers over Josh’s scalp. “You need a haircut, _guero_,” he says. 

“Sounds like a problem for tomorrow-me,” he replies. And Tomorrow-Josh can go fuck himself, because right now, he’s not moving unless he has to. “You need to do laundry, man, if we’re listing chores.” 

“Shit, I didn’t mean to leave it this long.” They have a washer and dryer in the unit, but the dryer kicked it two months back, and the landlord hasn’t gotten back to them. It isn’t life-or-death, so he never will, if Josh knows landlords. That means they have to go to the laundromat, and that’s a chore. “Think I can make it ‘til Monday.” 

Josh doesn’t have an opinion on that. He’s pretty damn happy right now, and he’s going to hold on to that for a minute. 

The timer on Vas’ phone goes off though, so they get themselves up and in order. 

The fight next door moves downstairs with them, and when Red walks in the door, he looks more pissed off than usual. Josh hitches his chin at the joining wall, eyebrows up, asking. “Missy is throwing Loretta’s clothes off the porch,” Red tells him, putting his stuff down. 

“That’s new.” He passes Red a soda from the fridge, and sits beside him at the bar. “What, she get fucked by a whole sorority this time?” Those people do weird hazing shit like that, he thinks. They’re always getting sanctioned for something. 

Red shrugs, and it’s right around then that Josh remembers he’s mad at Red. So Josh says, already getting that itch that tells him he’s making trouble he shouldn’t, “You’re late.” He pops the tab on his own soda and flicks it at Red. “Where were you?”

“Brought Teddy coffee. He’s finishing some grading.” 

“You’re bringing him coffee?” Red never brings anyone anything. And that means Red had to willingly go into the campus cafe on a Friday, and go into the bio building. That’s two extra places. And money. 

“I’m still stuck on the part where you went to the cafe,” Vas says.

Red shrugs. “Didn’t. He actually likes the stuff from the vending machine.” That’s inhuman. No one likes that garbage. Vas doesn’t even drink it. 

Vas gives Josh a look he mostly ignores, but he doesn’t say what he’s thinking. He’s too tired of today to start an argument at this point. 

“He’s getting the grading done tonight?” Vas asks. “Lucky bio students.” 

“Wants to get it done before tomorrow night.” Red fidgets with the soda, which is weird. Red doesn’t fidget. “He wants to know if we’re supposed to bring something to Billy and Goody’s thing.” 

“You’re bringing him?” That Red’s even going is unbelievable, but it digs at Josh like a splinter that Red is actually bringing Teddy. This is _their_ friend group. “Why?”

“Goody asked him. Emma’s husband works for Goody now.” 

Someone had probably told Josh that at some point, but he generally doesn’t remember much about Emma or the rest of her minions unless it’s crucial. She’s their mortal enemy, but he has other shit to think about most of the time. “So what, that gives the bio department a free pass?”

“It’s not a big deal, Josh,” Vas says. “Billy must be okay with it.”

“That’s because Billy likes getting his dick sucked,” Josh counters. He has never, nor does he want to, understood Billy and Goody’s marriage, but he does know that it only looks like Billy’s in charge. Goody asks for something, and Billy will do it. Which is why his house in always getting invaded by actors. “Fuck that shit, and fuck Cullen. Both of ‘em.”

Vas and Red both make a face, so fuck them both too. 

“Maybe Emma isn’t so bad outside of campus,” Vas tries. 

“Maybe a hyena isn’t so bad outside the zoo,” Josh says. 

But then Red says, “She’s alright.” 

“Seriously?” What the fuck has been going on with Red when Josh wasn’t looking? “You hanging out with her now too?” 

“She’s Teddy’s best friend. She shows up a lot.” 

“She’s the reason the bio department got a greenhouse, and we lost out on a new lab,” Josh reminds him. That shit had been so fucking stupid, Josh had wanted to kill something. Or at least hit it. Plants grow outside just fine, for chrissakes. Computers don’t. “You were pissed off about that too.” 

“I was pissed because of where that money fucking came from,” Red says. “I didn’t want it near my stuff anyway.” He takes his drink and stands up, grabbing his bag and heading for his room. This time, the door definitely slams. 

“You had to bring up that money, didn’t you?” Vas asks, throwing a dish towel at Josh.

Josh hadn’t actually meant to open up that can of worms. “Forgot about that.” It had been part of a Blackstone donation, back when the school was still willing to take their money. Red has issues with Blackstone, and that particular incident had gotten ugly quick when Red’s uncle had shown up. 

“How?” Honestly, Josh isn’t sure, because that time, Red and his stupid uncle had almost gotten into a fight in the middle of the damn atrium. 

“I was mad, alright, you know I say shit I shouldn’t when I get mad.” 

“No shit,” Vas says, bracing himself on the counter. “Blackstone’s all over the news right now, so that probably already had him pissed off.” He looks towards the hall, maybe checking for Red, before he asks, “You ever going to tell me what that’s all about, anyway?” 

“Told you, man, there’s bad blood there.” Josh knows the story about Denali, and how he fucked over Red’s family, and apparently the whole reservation Red’s family was from. But that’s Red’s business, and if he wanted Vas to know, he’d tell him himself. “Shit, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m going to be making that up to him for awhile.” 

Vas is looking at him funny.

“What?” Josh asks, finishing his soda. 

“Nothing.” He turns the heat down on the potatoes frying in the skillet, adding something. It’s starting to smell good. Damn, he got lucky when he met Vas. “Thinking about something else.”

Josh takes him at his word, and heads into the living room to get some shit done on his own work while he waits. 

After dinner and clean-up, he waits until Red’s been out on the porch for a few minutes before he goes out after him. “You know that ain’t any better,” he says, getting out a cigarette and eyeing Red’s vape. “We’re all still going to get cancer and die. You might get a new and interesting kind, though. That’ll be fun.” 

Red doesn’t say anything, just exhales. Josh doesn’t know why he has the damn thing, he doesn’t even use any flavors. 

Well, looks like Red is going to wait Josh out, so he gets it over with. Red could out-wait a rock. “Sorry about bringing up Denali.” It’s not even that it makes Red mad, Josh just doesn’t like bringing up something that’ll hurt him. Family shit is complicated. 

“It’s fine,” Red says. 

With Red, that means it’s actually fine, so they’re good on that front. The other thing is still bothering Josh, but he doesn’t want to start another fight. Not tonight. “The freshman get dumber every year, I swear. Still not fair you don’t have to teach, asshole. Just because some freshman girls followed you home. You know, most people would take that as a compliment.”

Red blows vapor in his face, because Red is a dick. 

“Fuck off, I don’t want weird cancer,” he says, shoving Red. 

Red’s phone goes off, and he checks it before starting a text. 

“Sam want something?” 

“No.” That’s the only person Josh can think of that would be texting Red when Josh is right here. “I’m going out.” He stands up, sticking his phone in his back pocket. 

“It’s Friday. There are other people out.” Hell, they’re out on the sidewalk now. 

A group walks by, mostly girls, freshman to judge from the clothes. Josh doesn’t get freshman girls. They put on a lot of make-up and shit, and they all seem to end up crying half of it off by the end of the night. The girls on the sidewalk now are even wearing heels. Their sidewalks are shitty. This is not a good neighborhood to wear heels in. “I don’t get women, man. That shit can’t be comfortable.” 

Red leans against the porch post, taking another hit off the vape.

One of the girls stops to fix her shoe, and they all stop. Again, something Josh doesn’t get about women. They all move in a group. Like fish, or something. But he does get when one looks up onto their porch and then starts whispering to her friends. 

“Told you to start wearing sleeves, man,” he warns Red, because, yep, right on cue, two break away from the group, and come up the first step, one leaning on the railing so they get a good look down her shirt. Waste of her time; she’s more likely to get a reaction from the railing than Red, and Josh ain’t all that interested himself. Freshman all look like walking pains-in-the-ass to him.

“Hey,” she says. “Do you guys know where 1837 Metacomet is?”

Red stares her down, and Josh sits back on his elbows, watching. He gives it five seconds. 

“You’re holding an iPhone,” Red tells her bluntly, then turns and walks into the house. 

Girl looks a little stunned, but Red tends to have that effect on people when they interact with him. Her friend is looking at Josh though, and he eyes the door. He’s never had stalkers, and he isn’t looking to acquire any. “What about you?” she asks, before he can make a break for it. This is less funny when it happens to him. “Maybe you could -”

“Around the corner,” he says, cutting her off. “Can’t miss it.” A couple of guys from the rowing team rent it out, and they’ve been throwing keggers since September. “Be careful, girls. Watch your drinks, and all that.” That’s something a responsible adult is supposed to say.

The girls nod, and then go back to their friends. He very distinctly hears, “What a fucking asshole,” as they walk down the street. Red has that effect too. 

Vas is lying on the couch, scrolling through his phone, when Josh comes back in. “Who’s outside?”

“Freshman girls,” Josh says, sitting in the armchair. “Red gave them directions.” 

“To where? Hell?” 

“No, but I bet they’d have told him how to get there,” Josh says. 

Red walks past, pulling his hoodie on over his head. He grabs his keys out of the bowl by the table, and leaves, Josh calling out, “Remember your curfew, young man!” He gets a middle finger back. “Love you, too!” After a minute, thinking about it, he asks, “Where do you think he’s going?”

Vas sits up on his elbow. “You don’t know?” No, Josh doesn’t, so Vas prompts, “Teddy?” 

Oh. Yeah. That makes sense. 

“Josh?”

“What?”

“You alright?” 

No, he’s not. But it’s late, and there’s nothing he can do about it right now. 

He takes a shower, washing his hair and trying to work out who bought the fancy stuff. Probably Vas, but possibly Red. Either way, he uses it, and realizes Vas is definitely right, because it takes too damn long to wash his hair. He can probably go to the barber tomorrow. Maybe not too short. He likes it when Vas gets his hands in it. And it’s getting cold out, so it won’t bug him too much. 

Vas is in his own room when he gets out of the shower, the door open so Josh can see him lying on his bed, lighting a bowl. “Get dressed,” he calls to Josh. “I don’t want to smoke alone.” 

Damn, that’s a welcome idea. 

“We should get some of that THC vape stuff,” he tells Vas, after they’ve gone through two bowls, and the comfortable, buzzed feeling has settled in, Josh lying down on Vas’ bed, Vas sitting cross-legged beside him. This is way better than being drunk. Alcohol had started to lose its luster before he even turned twenty-one, and his workload had increased. Hangovers did not make for good work companions. “Smells less.” 

“Aren’t people like, dying from that shit?”

“Think that’s because they bought it from a shady dealer,” Josh says, trying to remember. “I can get the good stuff. I’ve got a cousin in Colorado. She owns a shop.” He turns, nestles into the bed, and Vas’ leg. Vas has got really soft pajama pants on. 

Vas pokes him in the head. “Hey, quick question? Is there any member of the illustrious Faraday clan that has a legit job?” 

“It’s legal there,” he says, waving it off. “And Becky isn’t a Faraday anymore. She took her wife’s name. They took a vote at the wedding. But her wife’s last name is ‘Wagonblast’, so not gonna lie, my vote went that-a-way.” That was a hell of a last name. 

“A white girl lesbian hippie named Becky that owns a weed shop. Was she just going through a checklist?” 

He smacks Vas’ thigh. “Fuck you, she was a business major.”

“Does she have dreadlocks?” 

Josh has to give him that one. “In high school. She stopped that.” He sits up and takes a hit when Vas holds the bowl out to him. “And fuck you twice, asshole, I’ve got a bachelor’s in math, and I’m a grad student.” 

“You also have a juvenile record,” Vas says, taking the bowl back. “Like, a long one. I still don’t understand how you didn’t do any time in juvie for that thing with the football team.” 

“Couldn’t prove it was me. Had a solid alibi.” 

“Red is not a solid alibi,” Vas says, breathing out a cloud of smoke. 

“No, but his grandfather is, and we were with him all day. Working on the construction site. Had time stamps and everything.” Mr. River had made them work for real on site all summer as payback for those forged time stamps too, so that made them even. 

Vas laughs, and Josh smiles up at the ceiling, patting Vas’ thigh. 

“You’re an idiot,” Vas says, stroking Josh’s hair. Feels nice. “Must be something wrong with me.”

“Why’s that, then?” He doesn’t get an answer, and he kind of forgets the question, because Vas stretches out beside him, setting the bowl down in the ashtray, and kisses him. 

“Got the house to ourselves,” Vas says. “Why don’t you stay over here?”

Vas must have gotten the good stuff, because Josh can’t think of why that’s a bad idea. Vas has got a nice bed, and Josh likes being in it with Vas. So he stays right where he is.

Unfortunately, by morning he’s sober, and when the front door wakes them both up, Josh has to scramble up to his feet, finding his clothes quick so he can get back to his own room. “The one fucking time he doesn’t go right to his room,” he bitches, because he can hear Red moving around in the kitchen now. 

“Was he out all night?” Vas asks, combing his hair out of his face. 

They left the bedroom door open, Josh sees, so he shushes Vas with his hand. Vas rolls his eyes, and looks like he might say something else, but he doesn’t. Josh peeks out into the hallway in the meantime. Red is still downstairs, but he’s not in the sight line of the steps, so Josh takes his chances and gets back into his own room. 

_Shit_, that was close. The last thing he needs is Red finding out about this. 

And then sober-Josh remembers he’s pissed at Red anyway, so when he goes downstairs to get coffee, he’s over his brief panic. 

Red’s drinking coffee, wearing the same clothes he had on when he left. 

“Have a good night?” Josh asks, and he doesn’t even know why. He doesn’t want to know what Red’s getting up to with Teddy. He doesn’t want to think about it at all. But he can’t help it. It’s weird, and it’s unsettling. 

“You back on this bullshit?” 

“Are you?” 

Red stares at him over his coffee, then sets it down. “What’s your fucking problem?” 

“What are you doing?” 

“Why do you care?”

Vas comes downstairs then, standing on the last step, and looking between them. “It’s too early for this shit,” he warns them both. “So don’t.” He grabs a mug and fills it, then hands it to Josh before getting his own. “When are we going to Billy and Goody’s tonight?”

“Dunno. Six?” That gives him some time to get some work done.

“Works for me,” Vas says, then reaches out and ruffles Josh’s hair. “Go to the barber today.”

“Quit it,” Josh says, shaking him off. “I get it, you don’t like it. I’ll go, alright?” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Red get up, and come around the bar, rinsing his coffee mug out in the sink. He doesn’t say anything else to either of them, just goes off to his room. Josh waits until he hears the door shut, then steps closer to Vas and asks, “So what, we’re just going to go make nice with Emma and her minions? We’re all going to be friends now?” 

“Josh, come on, why’s this bothering you so much?” Vas comes a little closer, and Josh checks over his shoulder to make sure they’re really alone when Vas puts a hand on Josh’s hip. “You’ve met Teddy. He’s not that bad.” That’s not what Josh wants to hear, and Vas is supposed to be on his side, so he tries to pull back, but Vas doesn’t let him. “You keep making a big deal out of this, you’re just going to make a whole lot of trouble for yourself. So knock it off.” 

He kisses Josh. And that’s good, or it would be, if they were actually alone. 

“Don’t do that,” Josh tells him, pulling back now and taking a drink of his coffee. 

Vas is looking at him, and for the life of him, Josh can’t read his face. But then Vas just says, “You know what? Never mind.” He combs some of his hair out of his face, and takes his coffee into the living room. 

Josh has got the distinct feeling Vas is mad at him too now. He doesn’t like the feeling. Not in the slightest. 

Well...fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

Josh is coming out of the barber, minding his own business, when his business gets invaded. 

Jack Horne is weird. There’s no other word for the guy. Josh is pretty sure there’s something unscrewed in the guy’s upstairs, but pointing it out is a step too far in public even for him. Also, he’s the head of the bio department, and while he might not be in charge of Josh, he’s friends with Sam, and Sam has the ability to make Josh’s life really miserable if he so chooses. 

“Joshua.” No one calls him Joshua. His own mother doesn’t call him Joshua, unless he’s in trouble. Jack Horne calls everyone by their full name though. He even calls Red ‘Red Harvest’, and again, Josh has only heard that name come out when Red’s been in trouble. 

The one time they’d both been busted bad, by Red’s mom that time, he’d actually learned Red had a middle name too. It had been a fun fact to file away for later. Much later, when Ms. Poppy wasn’t threatening to murder them and leave their bodies on the reservation for the coyotes and the vultures to pick over. 

“Professor Horne, what’s up?” There ain’t no reason Horne would need to talk to him, so Josh is hoping this is just pleasantries. Talking to Horne is never fun. 

“I suppose nothing much,” Horne says, rocking back on his heels. “How’s your work going? Hope Sam isn’t working you boys too hard.” Josh shrugs, hoping he can end this little interaction quick. “Suppose it can’t be all bad. Was really interested in that side project Red Harvest is working on with Teddy Q.”

That gets Josh’s attention. Josh doesn’t understand what Red does with computers on the daily, but he hadn’t said shit about any ‘side project’, and Jack Horne being who he is, that’s not a euphemism. “Don’t know nothing about that,” he admits. 

“It’s interesting,” Horne repeats. “Been meaning to ask him to drop by with Teddy Q. Might be able to help. My wife is from the Lakota tribe.” Yeah, Josh doesn’t know what that has to do with anything, but sometimes Horne just says random shit. “Asked Teddy Q., but he says Red Harvest tends to do what he pleases.” That, on the other hand, Josh understands. “Doesn’t work that way with me and my wife. Joanna tells me she’d like me to be somewhere, I go. Every couple is different though, I suppose.” 

What the fuck, did everyone know before Josh and Vas? Vas, he gets. But Red doesn’t keep secrets from him. Or he didn’t. 

“Well,” Horne says. “Best get on. Tell Red Harvest to stop by, if he’s feeling so inclined.” Jack Horne goes on his way then, people moving aside for him. Man his size, and in his state of mind, options tended to be move, or be moved. 

Josh goes on his own way, trying to wrap his head around what kind of side project Red would even be interested in that would need the bio department’s, and Teddy Q. especially’s, help. Emma Cullen is on her way to becoming an environmental lawyer. Everyone knows that. It’d be harder not to know that. But now that he thinks about it, he’s not entirely sure just what Teddy _does_, beyond being Emma’s minion. And posting a lot of shit on Instagram. 

When he gets home, Vas has his stuff spread out on the coffee table. He’s running some kind of program on his laptop that looks like way more physics than Josh ever wants to know, so he sits down in the armchair where he can’t see it. He’s not sure if Vas is still mad at him, if Vas actually was in fact mad at him. 

He makes a gamble, and tries his luck. “Hey, what does Teddy actually do?” 

“Something to do with genetics, I think,” Vas says, not looking away from his notes. “Why?”

“Just being curious.” He can’t do anything with that information. Josh just barely filled his requirements for that side of things, and he can’t remember anything about genes. “Ran into Horne. He says Red and Teddy are doing some kind of project together.”

“Hm.” Vas clicks something on his laptop, and whatever it’s doing stops. “Maybe that’s how all this started. Working together, late nights…” He trails off, raising his eyebrows. “Does explain where he’s been all semester.” 

Red has been MIA a lot lately, but Josh generally leaves Red alone when he’s working on his own grad work, unless he gets bored. And usually by then, Red’s bored too, and willing to go along with whatever Josh wants to do. 

But yeah, Red’s been out a lot. Josh hadn’t really been paying too much attention to the frequency; Red being out meant time with Vas. Time with Vas was great, so Josh just hadn’t questioned it. 

That itchy feeling is starting up again just thinking about this. That Red has been living this whole other life on the side, and not telling Josh shit. That’s not them. They’ve known each other through some bad shit; worse than either of them ever wants to revisit. There’s never been secrets. Everyone else was always lying to the two of them, talking around the truth, including their own parents sometimes, but they never did that with each other. 

When did that change, is what Josh wants to know. When did Red decide he couldn’t tell Josh something? 

And why Teddy Q, of all people? What’s so damn special about him that suddenly Red wants to keep him around? 

“Why do you think Red even likes him?” 

He doesn’t know what he wants Vas to say. “I don’t know. Guess we’ll see.” That doesn’t help.

Doesn’t even help when Vas gets up and kneels in front of Josh, between his legs, rubbing Josh’s knees. “Red said he’d meet us there when he took off. So we’ve got time until we’ve got to get going. And I can’t look at this screen anymore.” 

Any other time, Josh would be all over this. The neighbors are at work, so it’s all quiet next door. They’ve got plenty of time. But Josh ain’t sure he’s up for this right now. “Don’t know, man. Got my head somewhere else.” That’s not fair to Vas, is all. 

“You want to talk about it?” Vas asks. “Don’t make that face, it might help.”

“Nah,” Josh says, giving in and getting his hand in Vas’ hair. Vas may not be a big fan of Josh’s hair getting too long, but he likes Vas’. “It’s me-and-Red shit. Not your problem.” 

Vas stands up, so Josh lets his hand drop. “It’s going to be my problem if you two don’t work this out. I live here too, remember? You two fighting, that’s not good for me.” 

“We’re not fighting,” Josh says quickly. “Trust me, you ain’t ever seen Red and me fight. This is just...I don’t know. This is just some BS we gotta work through, or whatever.” And they’ll work through it. They’ve been friends most of their lives. And they’re pretty much it for each other back home. Everyone else their age back there can get bent. 

Vas does that thing where he talks to himself in Spanish, then says, “Don’t think Red’s the one with the problem. You’re the one obsessing over this.” He sounds mad. Shit. 

“I’m not obsessing,” because he’s not, alright, “I don’t get it, is all.” 

“Get what? Red just likes the guy, by whatever twisted logic Red works on.”

That sounds like an actual dig on Red, not their usual talking shit. “Hey, don’t, alright?”

“Don’t what?” Vas getsures, at pretty much nothing. “You’re mad at him, and you’re going to defend him? I don’t know what you want, Josh. I really don’t.” Less mad now, but something else. This has the heavy feeling of a conversation Josh doesn’t want to have, so he puts a stop to it. 

“Vas, dude, just...don’t worry about it. It’ll blow over. Shit with me and him always does.” Well, usually after they’d hit each other a couple of times and gotten it out of their system. One of the silver caps on Josh’s teeth is from the worst fight they’d ever had, back when they were fifteen, and Red’s stupid uncle had shown his ugly face. Again. That guy never brought anything good. But none of that is probably going to help his case with Vas, so Josh keeps it to himself. “It’s…” He struggles for an explanation. “It’s just how we are. One of us does something stupid, pisses the other one off, we bitch at each other for a few days, and then we get over it.” 

Or they forget why they were mad. One of those two things. Red has just happened to really piss Josh off this time. 

“So you’re going to get over this?” Vas asks. 

Josh shrugs. “I don’t know.” He’s mostly just hoping Red gets bored with Emma’s minion quick, but Jesus wept, Red’s letting him post pictures on Instagram, and Josh has a bad feeling about what that means long-term. “Kind of have to. Red’s the only committed relationship I’ve got.” 

He’s joking, mostly, but not really. 

“Yeah, seems like,” Vas says. 

This is a weird moment. Josh isn’t sure why it’s weird, but it’s definitely weird. 

So for once in his life, he’s glad to get a text from Goody. Three texts in fact. Well one is from Billy. Billy, the wordsmith, just sends, ‘bring ice’. Goody’s two are one that got broken up, explaining why they need ice. “Why the hell do we need to know that Billy broke the ice maker on the fridge?”

Vas must have gotten the same texts, because he’s staring at his phone too. “I like knowing when we’re walking into a fight,” he points out. “I want to make sure I’m paying attention when Billy does stupid shit to make up with Goody.”

That’s a good point. Billy grovelling is always funny. And hey, weird moment has passed now. “Well, let’s be good friends, and get some ice.”

There’s a bodega on the way to Billy and Goody’s place. They stop there to get a couple of bags of ice, and when Josh spots the flowers, it’s too good an opportunity to pass up. So they show up with ice and flowers.

“Thought it would cheer up the place,” Josh says.

“That’s thoughtful of you,” Goody says, taking them. “I appreciate that.” 

“Billy’s going to kill you, _guero_.” Vas is laughing, so it’s a win all-around, as far as Josh is concerned. 

Billy has sidled over, his hands in his pockets. “I’m going to kill you, and hide your body in the biology building,” he promises. 

“Good, I want to haunt their asses,” Josh replies. “Better idea, hide me in the theater. I’d buy tickets to a show in a haunted theater. Goody’ll make bank, and can buy a new fridge.” 

Yeah, Billy’s definitely going to do something horrible to him later. Josh can sense it. Still worth it. 

The place is already crawling with people. Actors, and not even mostly the somewhat normal kind, who have day jobs. He can get along with those ones. No, these are Goody’s actors, and they’re all varying levels of fucking crazy. 

But the table is laid out, and that’s what they’re really there for. They grab food, and a bottle of free whiskey, and then retreat with Billy to the screened-in back porch, where they can sit down and Billy can deal cards. Billy’s the only one out of them that ain’t flat broke, so they don’t play for money. 

“So what’d the ice maker ever do to you?” Josh asks, after they’ve got their hands and a drink or three. 

“It was already broken,” Billy says, pushing in some chips. 

“Did you make it better or worse?” The way Billy looks at Vas answers that question loud and clear. “See, this is why we wouldn’t let you look at the dryer.” 

“I never offered.” Billy taps his cards against the table. “The fridge is old, anyway. We should have replaced it when we moved in, but Goody wanted the bathrooms updated first.” He rolls his eyes, but much as Josh wants to take Billy’s side, ‘cause loyalty, and all that, the bathrooms in this place had been older than him.

It all honestly sounds like way more trouble than Josh is ever willing to put up with. “That’s why I rent.” 

“That’s why you don’t have a dryer.” 

“Got me there.” 

They all look up when the sliding door opens, and a guy leans out. “Hey, Billy, any chance y’all can deal me in?” Billy nods, and the guy comes out, grabbing a drink out of the cooler and pulling up a chair. “Hey, I’m Matthew. Matthew Cullen.” 

Josh hadn’t recognized him, but he’s only seen this guy once or twice, and not up close. He’s not bad-looking, Josh’ll give Emma that. 

“You’re Emma’s husband?” Vas asks, his foot nudging Josh’s ankle, which ain’t fair. It wasn’t like he was going to do anything to the guy. 

“Guilty as charged,” he says, taking the cards Billy deals him. “And I know all of you. Trust me, I definitely know all about all of you.” He’s laughing, like this is funny. “Emma tells me stories.” 

This time, Vas actually kicks Josh, but that one is fair. Goody will get pissed if he starts shit here, and that’ll start a chain reaction that no one wants to deal with. So instead of saying what he was going to say, he goes for a neutral, “Bet she does.”

Matthew grins at him, and shakes his head. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Emma’s a force of nature once she gets going on something. Do not envy y’all having to face her at her worst.” He takes a swig of his drink. “But maybe that’ll all settle down a bit now that the battle lines have been crossed.” 

Across from Josh, Billy is smirking, because Billy’s a fucking dick. “I wouldn’t count on it.” 

“They better, for everyone’s sake,” Matthew says, then keeps going when it’s pretty damn obvious no one gets what’s so funny. “Emma and Teddy have known each other since they were born, is all. He’s kind of her baby. She’s trying, but she’s struggling with this one.”

Vas doesn’t kick Josh again, but his face tells Josh to shut up. He’s still not sure if him and Vas are fighting themselves, and if they are, he has no idea what they’re even fighting about, so for his own best interests, he continues to keep his mouth shut, and refills his whiskey. Instead of what Josh wants to say, Vas asks, “Yeah. How did that come about, anyway? You know?”

“Not really. Teddy’s really good at doing this thing where he talks a lot? But he doesn’t actually tell you anything, and you don’t realize it until he’s long gone. All I know is, suddenly Red is hanging around all the time.” He shrugs. “Teddy’s happy. That’s all that matters.” 

“Yeah, well, you know, Red being happy might be a little important.” Vas can’t get mad at him for that, that’s a legitimate point. 

“Fair.” Trust this guy to not rise to the bait. Hell, he even laughs. “Alright, Billy, how pissed off is Goody going to be when we break everything down tomorrow? ‘Cause I don’t know if I can keep Jazmine from going for his throat if he starts up with that crap about the orchestra pit again.” 

Jazmine is Goody’s stage manager. Josh is pretty sure she’s eventually going to snap and murder Goody, but he can’t say he blames her. Goody’s annoying when he’s bossy. 

“It was already broken,” Billy says again. 

“Yeah, man, I ain’t been married as long as you, true, but even I know that don’t mean a damn thing. You touched it, it’s still broken, so now it’s your fault.” 

Josh takes a cigarette when Vas gets his pack out, Billy declining. Once it’s lit, Josh takes a hit, and says, “Gotta say, you guys ain’t really selling married life.” 

When Vas offers the pack to Matthew, he shakes his head. “It’s got its perks.” 

“If you say so.” From where Josh is sitting, marriage is a whole lot of trouble that just ends in even more trouble. “God damn, Billy, who taught you how to deal?”

“Fuck off.”

Josh’s hand is shit, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. He could probably bluff his way out if he was playing with anyone else, but there’s no beating Billy when it comes to a poker-face. The man looks ready to kill even when he’s happy. There’s no stakes anyway, so Josh folds when Billy starts getting stubborn. Whiskey’s hitting him by now, so he don’t feel like waiting him out.

Before a new hand is dealt, Billy pulls the cigar box he keeps the weed in out of the old, discolored fridge that sits in the corner of the porch, and starts rolling. He offers the first one to Matthew, who actually takes it, thanking Billy and lighting it with Vas’ lighter. 

Vas lights Josh’s for him next, then his own. “Isn’t your wife some kind of fine, upstanding citizen?” Vas tsks, and Josh laughs.

“Emma’s mom grows it behind the rose trellis,” Matthew says, waving him off. “First time Emma brought me home, her mom and Teddy’s mom were sharing a bong out on the porch. Best Thanksgiving ever.” 

“Probably the best way to meet the parents, eh?” Vas asks. 

“If you have to,” Billy says. 

Josh doesn’t know much about Goody’s family beyond the basics: they’re old money, and they’re assholes. The old man died when Goody was younger, which is why Goody is their somewhat rich friend. He also knows what’s left of the Robicheaux clan only met Billy once, and it didn’t go well. 

That’s depressing to think about, so Josh tries to brighten the mood. “Look at this way, Billy, if you had to spend the holidays in Louisiana, you wouldn’t get to spend Easter getting drunk with my mom.” Billy and his mom get on like a house on fire; Josh still isn’t sure why. 

“I do like Molly,” Billy concedes. “More than you.” 

“Watch it, asshole, or you ain’t coming to Christmas. Explain that to Goody.” 

“Molly already invited us,” Billy says, because of course his mom did. “Damn it, give me that.” His lighter is just clicking, so Vas hands his over to Billy’s waiting hand. “The shit I put up with for Goody. These people are never going to get out.” He tips his chin at Matthew. “No offense.” 

“None taken. I ain’t a big fan of parties, myself, but Emma thinks we need to socialize more. She’s right, and she’ll have fun tonight, in any case. She likes this crowd.” He checks the cards Billy has dealt to him. “We’re not playing for money at any point tonight, are we?”

“Don’t got none to play with,” Vas says. 

Probably a good thing they don’t, because Josh has no luck through that hand or the next. But no one comes out to bother them on the porch, and if Vas was mad at him, he isn’t now. He’s got his arm around the back of Josh’s chair, and they’re sharing a joint, pacing themselves. Well, mostly. Free whiskey and free weed are free.

Billy’s shuffling the cards with no real intention to deal again, seems like, when the door opens again, and this time, it’s Emma Cullen. 

“Should have known you’d be out here,” she says, holding two plastic cups. “Here, drink some water. I’m not dealing with your hungover ass in the morning.” 

“Baby, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matthew says, taking one of the cups and downing it. “I’ve had two beers. You, on the other hand, you’re starting to look a little flushed.” 

“I’m a redhead, jerk,” she says. “And I’m not worried about the alcohol, we’re not _that_ old yet. You know this stuff gives you a headache.” She takes the joint out of his hand and takes a hit, before passing it back to him, and looking around the table. “Hi Billy. Vasquez. Faraday.” 

“_Buenas noches, preciosa_,” Vas says, which cracks Josh up for some reason. 

“You’re not cute,” she replies. “Poker, huh? Since when do you play poker, Matthew?”

“Since you started making me come to these.”

“You suddenly just got less cute,” she says, shoving him in the head a little. “What happened to socializing and making grown-up friends?” 

Matthew gestures at all of them, which again, is really funny for some reason. Possibly the weed. “I’m socializing! Making friends!” Josh definitely wouldn’t go that far, but the face Emma makes is great, so he doesn’t say shit.

She rolls her eyes. “Ugh, no. What is wrong with you and Teddy? Are there no other men on this campus you two can find?” 

“No, honey, I forgot to tell you. The zombie apocalypse happened last week while you were working on that paper, but it turns out they were only attracted to male brains. We’re the only survivors. I was going to say something, but you told me if I bothered you, you’d kill me, so I took my chances with the zombies. And hey! Worked out!” 

That’s not a bad story. “I’d totally survive a zombie apocalypse,” Josh says, because he would. 

“Well, they are after brains,” Emma says, because she’s Emma Cullen, and oh yeah, they kind of fucking hate each other. 

But before Josh can fire back at her, and he’s got something good, he sees Matthew nudge her. They have one of those weird, silent married people conversations that Goody and Billy are always having, and then Matthew says, “She’s just joking. Right, Emma?”

“Sure,” she says. “Alright, I have tended to your needs like a good wife. I’m going to go back to talking to people.” 

“Could talk to us,” Vas suggests. 

What the _hell_, Josh is going to kill him. 

“Thanks, but Jazmine is telling stories about how the whole crew have made her life miserable over the past few months.” She pats Matthew’s shoulder. “So many stories. Like how you apparently were making so many jokes about Giselle’s cleavage over headset, no one could keep a straight face, and Katie messed up the spotlight cues.” 

Matthew turns in his chair, calling after her, “That is not what happened, baby, do not listen to her -” but she’s already shutting the door. “I’m going to be hearing about that later.” 

“Yes, you are,” Billy agrees. 

“Eh, she was looking through Teddy’s pictures of Red yesterday when she thought I wasn’t paying attention.” He takes a hit, and tips his head away to blow the smoke out. “What’s with that guy anyway, does he live at the gym?” 

Despite pacing themselves, Josh is feeling pretty good, and now that Emma’s out of sight, he can choose to forget that Matthew is married to the devil. And when Josh is feeling good, he talks. Well, usually he has to be the one talking because Billy and Red won’t, but it’s all the same. “Me and him spent a lot of time at the Y when we were kids,” he says. “On account of us being poor. Also, his parents and my mom thought we needed to be somewhere other than the neighborhood. But that was because there were a lot of drugs, and they thought that was, you know, bad.”

Well, actually, his mom had said they were both already too stupid to deal with. To-may-toe, toe-mah-toh. 

“And we weren’t allowed to play sports, so...had to do something.” 

“Yeah? Why’s that then?”

Vas answers for him. “Schools tend to frown on letting juvenile delinquents on the teams.” 

“We were never convicted of anything,” Josh reminds him, and Vas laughs. He always laughs a lot when he’s high. Gets real affectionate too, but no one will notice right now, and Josh likes it, so he’s not going to say anything. “We weren’t, so don’t go telling people that. People just said we did all that shit.”

“Because you _did_,” Vas says, leaning closer and taking the joint from Josh. “You were a very bad son, Joshua.” 

“I am an awesome son. I’m my mom’s favorite.”

“You’re an only child.” 

“Still the favorite.” And his mom always says he made her life colorful. Josh chooses to believe she means that as a good thing. “Except for when Red’s her favorite. And we trade off. Ms. Poppy loves me.” 

Matthew reminds Josh he exists. “That Red’s mom?” Josh can’t think of who else she could be, but Matthew must come to that conclusion on his own. Either that or it was one of those questions that starts with an ‘r’. Either way he keeps talking. “So, you two grew up together?”

“Yep.”

“That sounds like a good time. I grew up in the middle of nowhere with six sisters. But, showing people I know how to French braid hair is always a fun party trick.”

Vas is looking at Matthew. “I suddenly relate to you so much.” 

“No,” Josh whines, poking at him. “We do not relate to him.” Alright, Vas probably does right now, because he’s got all those sisters. There are five of them. It took Josh way too long to get all their names straight. But Matthew is associated with the enemy, so Vas can’t relate to him. “No relating.” 

“I think my feelings are hurt,” Matthew says, holding a hand to his chest. “Truth be told, we’re all going to have to start getting along, you know. Not that I have any stakes in this. I mostly just nod when Emma’s on a tear about all that funding stuff. I don’t understand what she’s talking about, but she feels better after she’s done.” 

Josh couldn’t care less about what makes Emma happy. Unless she decided to change schools, that Josh would care about. “There ain’t exactly a lot of money to go around,” he says. “And the chem labs needed to be renovated last year. We didn’t get to do that.”

“Nothing’s blown up yet,” Billy says, looking at his cards. “Well, nothing big.” There had been that little accident last month, but in the interest of fairness, that had less to do with old lab equipment and more to do with idiot undergrads. 

Sam had not been happy, either way. Things blowing up that weren’t supposed to blow up meant a lot of paperwork. Sam didn’t like paperwork. 

And when Sam wasn’t happy, no one else got to be happy. That week had sucked. 

“Do things blow up a lot in you guys’ line of work?” Matthew asks. 

Vas waggles his hand. “Usually just stuff that’s supposed to blow up. And that’s chemistry. I’m in physics, Josh is math, and Billy here is going to be an engineer. Things don’t blow up in our sections.” 

“Most of the time,” Billy says. “Shit happens.” 

“Worst thing that ever happens in my line of work is an actor showing up drunk,” Matthew says. “Or smoking in a period costume. Or they get broken up with on opening night. That’s not really my problem, but I still have to hear about all of it. A lot.”

“Try living with Goody,” Billy says. “I call.” 

Yeah, it’s a really good thing they don’t play for money. But Josh is feeling good, Vas still has his arm around him, and Billy’s hand isn’t great anyway. Vas somehow got a flush though. Matthew hasn’t got anything, so Vas is in a great mood, which gets Josh in a great mood. He doesn’t even mind Matthew anymore. Mostly.

They give up on cards for a minute, smoking up some more, and talking shop. Josh keeps getting distracted, because he’s gotten comfortable, and the ceiling fan still has the sparkly streamers on it from the 4th of July. “We should probably get those down,” he points out. “Seeing as how it’s November.” 

Red appears, just like that. Josh hadn’t even noticed him coming out here, but he’s there now, turning the outdoor heater on. It is kind of cold. Seeing as how it’s November. And dark out. Yeah, they should have turned that on earlier. 

“You’re all going to freeze to death,” Red says, taking a seat. 

“No,” Josh disagrees, leaning over the table. “We agreed. We’re going to die of cancer.” 

“No one agreed to that,” Red says, a joint between his teeth while he lights it. “You won’t live that long, anyway.” He gets it lit and inhales. “You piss off too many people.” 

“You’ll avenge me,” Josh says, moving his chair a little closer to Red by accident. “Avenge me, Red. If someone murders me, you got to murder them back.” 

Red shrugs, which is ‘yes’ for Red.

“Thank you,” Josh says, trying to convey how serious he is. It’s a little hard when he feels like laughing, but he thinks he’s getting his point across. “You are my best friend, Red. In the whole world.” 

“Someone’s got to do it,” Billy says. 

“Hey,” Josh says, pointing at him. “I’ll have you know that I am an awesome best friend.” 

Red shoves him back, but that’s on Josh. He’s in Red’s personal space. So he goes, Vas helping him settle back down. “Alright, Josh, think you’ve had enough for now.” He puts out the last of the joint they were sharing in the ashtray “So have I. Jesus, Billy, where’d you get this shit?” 

“You can’t afford it,” Billy says. “Goody got it for our anniversary.” 

“Remind me to get you deported,” Vas says. “I’ll swoop in during Goody’s time of need, eh?”

“Over your dead body.” Billy tips his chair back, balancing with his knee. His accent always gets weird when he’s high. Josh usually thinks it’s funny, but not when Billy’s making that face. He doesn’t want Billy to kill Vas. 

“I don’t think that’s how that phrase goes,” Matthew says. 

“He knows what he said,” Red says.

“Alright then,” Matthew says, taking a hit. “Hey, where’d you leave Teddy?” 

“With Emma.”

“Good place for him.” Josh kind of wants to take that back. Maybe. He probably shouldn’t have said it. Red looks a little pissed off. “Them being friends, and all.” It’s not his best salvage, but Red doesn’t say nothing, so it kind of works. 

The nice haze is fading in Josh’s head though, and that itchy feeling is filling him up quick. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want to feel like this when it comes to Red, period, not when there’s nothing he can do about it. 

He should do something. Should say something. Not here. Here’s not good, there’s other people. And Vas. Vas is having a good time, Josh can’t mess that up for him. Well, he shouldn’t. So he shouldn’t say anything.

But then Matthew has to go and say, “Eh, he can’t play poker, and he doesn’t really smoke anyway.”

Just when Josh thought his opinion of Teddy couldn’t go down further, there it goes. “He sounds like a ton of fun. Really seeing the appeal.” Vas definitely kicks him in the ankle under the table. Hard. “Dude, that hurt,” he hisses. 

“Good,” Vas hisses back, his fingers clenched into Josh’s shoulder. 

“I’m just saying.” He looks at Red, and he knows he’s about to really fuck up, but he keeps talking anyway. “There’s like, a hundred other guys on this campus that would suck your dick in a heartbeat. You couldn’t have hit one of them up?”

Red taps his joint, leaves it in the ashtray. “Shut up, Josh.”

Whatever. “Make me.”

That doesn’t get to happen, because Vas grabs Josh by the arm and gets him up. “Come on, let’s take a walk. Think we both need to clear our heads, yeah?”

Josh doesn’t want to take a walk, but he goes anyway, because Vas said so. 

The cold air knocks some of the cobwebs out of his head, admittedly. And it’s nice to stretch his legs. So he walks with Vas down the sidewalk outside Goody and Billy’s house, starts humming when Vas doesn’t say anything to him. Sky’s clear. Can’t see too many stars, but the moon’s bright. “Full moon,” he says. 

“That why you’re acting crazy?” Vas asks. 

“What? What’d I do?” 

Vas huffs. “I know you’re not this stupid, Josh. Everyone’s in a good mood. Everyone’s having fun. So why do you have to try and start shit?” 

It takes him a second to remember what Vas is talking about. “It was a joke, dude.” Probably. Maybe. Well, no, that last thing wasn’t, but Josh doesn’t want to get into it. “Whatever.” 

“No, alright, no. It’s not like I like this either, Josh!”

“Yeah, you seemed real pissed off, asking Emma fucking Cullen to hang out with us -”

“Because we’re adults! What do you want me to do, tell her to fuck off?” Vas cuts the air with his hand, then turns away, raking his hand through his hair. He’s definitely mad at Josh right now, but his hair is in his face after he messes with, so Josh reaches out and fixes it. 

He loves Vas’ hair. It’s soft. Looks good on Vas, even when he’s mad. “I don’t know.” He doesn’t know what he wants Vas to do about any of this. He just plain doesn’t want there to be a ‘this’ to do anything about. He was pretty cool with the way things were. 

“Well, neither do I.” He lets Josh keep petting his hair, even though somewhere in Josh’s mind, he knows it’s kind of a weird thing to be doing. “Josh, I’m not saying you have to like Teddy, or anything. But Red likes him. And you…” Now he does stop Josh from doing the hair thing, but it was pretty weird. “You don’t want to lose Red over this.” 

“That’s not gonna happen,” Josh says, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Told you, Red and me, we work through stuff. Forgave him for busting my tooth.” 

Vas cups Josh’s jaw, thumb working in. “Wait, what? When did Red hit you?”

It takes a second to remember Vas doesn’t know, but he doesn’t remember why he didn’t tell Vas this before. “Nah, man, it was years ago. See?” He opens his mouth so Vas can see the silver cap. “All fixed up. And I kind of deserved it. I didn’t know I did, but I did.” Vas looks all sorts of confused, but that’s because he doesn’t know. “It’s weird.”

“What?”

“I always got to tell you stuff. Never have to tell Red anything.” Red already knows everything. He was there for all of it. 

“Yeah, well, I’m not Red.” Josh knows that. “Is that what your problem is, Josh?” 

He’s lost Josh. “What’dya mean?” 

“Why do you care if anyone knows we’re sleeping together? No, why do you care if Red knows?” This conversation has taken a wrong turn somewhere. “Do you think he’ll even care? He’s sleeping with someone else, Josh. He’s _with_ someone else.”

He’s not following. “What’s that got to do with us messing around?” 

“Is that what we’re doing?”

“I don’t know, what the fuck else would you call it?” He’s really not following. “Don’t do that, answering me with another question, that’s not -” Helpful? Useful? “That’s not the point.” 

“Then tell me,” Vas says. He’s really pushing this, and Josh doesn’t like it. “You and me, why can’t that be for real?” 

And there’s the million dollar question. “What do you want from me, Vas?” Josh scratches at the back of his head, trying to think. “I ain’t exactly boyfriend-material, you know.” Hell, half the time, Josh is damn sure he ain’t friend-material. Red’s the only person who’s stuck around. 

“What if Red was the one asking? Would you be ‘boyfriend-material’ then?” 

“Vas, I don’t even know what the hell you’re getting at here.” 

“You know what? Never mind.” Vas shoulders past him, back to the house. 

Josh doesn’t want to go back to the house. His head is kind of hurting, and his mouth is dry. Didn’t drink enough water. Rookie mistake. He hasn’t done that since he was fifteen, the first time him and Red smoked up. That was right after Red broke Josh’s tooth. Josh’s way of saying sorry without saying it for the shit with Denali. He’d paid too much for it, but Ricky had been the only dealer around that wasn’t running a meth lab on the side, so it had been him or nothing. 

He sits down on the curb. Sitting feels better. His head feels a little more clear. Sidewalk is fucking cold. 

He must be sitting there for a good minute, because Emma Cullen somehow has gotten up right beside him, and is telling him to get up. 

“What?” 

“Get up, asshole, before you freeze to death. I can’t let that happen. I’d probably feel bad about it.” Matthew is on his other side, helping him up. Matthew is a nice guy, even if he’s married to Emma, so Josh just lets him do it. “Vasquez left.”

That makes sense. “Yeah, he’s mad at me.” He’s really mad. 

“Oh, gee, wonder why.” 

“You’re a piece of work, you know that, lady?” Josh drawls. “Kicking a man when he’s down.” 

“Well, you put yourself there, so forgive me if I’m not feeling all that sympathetic.” She kind of has a point. Josh really hates it, but she definitely has a point. “Party is still going on. You want to go in there like this?” 

That sounds like the last thing Josh wants to do. “Nah.” 

“Can you get yourself home?”

Not likely. “Nah.”

“Of course.” 

Matthew is helping Josh keep standing. Man, this shit is hitting him hard. He shouldn’t have drank so much with it. It’s been awhile since he let himself get drunk. “Emma, honey,” Matthew is saying, “a little nicer?”

“This is about as nice as I’m going to get when it comes to him, Matthew, take it or leave it.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Josh says. He so doesn’t need this right now.

“No, both of you shut the hell up, now.” Huh, looks like Matthew has a backbone after all. “You’re both adults, act like it. Emma, I mean it. This isn’t the time, or place, and you know it.” He helps Josh sit back down on the curb. “You, sit. Emma, stay with him. I’m calling us all a cab.” 

So Josh ends up sitting on the curb with Emma Cullen while Matthew walks away a bit, getting his phone out. “Signal in this neighborhood is shitty.” 

“There’s no towers close by. NIMBY laws.” 

“What the hell is NIMBY?”

“‘Not In My Backyard’. Happens in historic neighborhoods like this. People have the money to get problems put somewhere else. Like ugly cell towers.” That makes sense. “So…” She taps her fingers on her knees. “Thought I was handling this badly, but you made me feel a lot better about myself. Matthew says you had a lot to say out on the porch.” 

Oh shit, he had opened his mouth, hadn’t he? “Whatever. This is your fault. Should have kept a leash on your fucking minion.” 

“Okay, first off, fuck you. Teddy is not my minion. And he’s one of the nicest people on the planet, so I don’t know what the hell he sees in your asshole friend.” 

“Red’s not an asshole, so fuck you back.” Well, he is, but Josh can’t let Emma say that. “Red’s like, really smart, and stuff. And he’s a good person.” Mostly. He was a good person where it counted. “You don’t know him.” 

“I don’t really want to know him. Or you, for that matter.” She’s still tapping her fingers. It’s distracting. “But, whatever. I love Teddy, and he really likes your friend. So if I have to play nice with him until I learn to like him, I will. And if I have to do it, so do you.” 

“I don’t have to do shit.” He doesn’t. He doesn’t have to like Teddy Q or Emma Cullen, or deal with any of this. “This is such bullshit. Red doesn’t date.”

Emma scoffs. “Tell me about it. Teddy’s never been into anyone. Not really. Well, he did have this one boyfriend, back in freshman year, but that guy lasted like, a month. I never even had to remember his stupid name.” She exhales, loud. “Okay, if we’re being honest, maybe that was why he didn’t last. I didn’t like him. But he was a jackass. Oh god, is that just Teddy’s type?” 

He’s tired. It’s getting late, he thinks. His phone is dead when he checks. “Forgot to charge it.” He thinks he says that out loud. 

When the cab shows up, Matthew helps both of them get into the backseat, Matthew sitting in the front with the driver. Josh kind of starts to fall asleep for a minute, but then the driver hits a speed bump too hard, and he bangs his head into the window hard enough to snap him out of it. 

There’s a feeling in the back of his head that’s telling him he’s going to be answering for some bad shit in the morning. He doesn’t like that feeling, but what else is new?

The house is dark when the cab pulls up, but the driver waits, headlights on, until Josh is inside. Good thing, because no one left the porch light on, and he struggles with the keys. But he gets inside, and gets upstairs to his room. He can see Red’s room from the stairs. Door shut, light off.

Vas’ door is shut too, light off. 

Once Josh has gotten himself into bed, he wants to get back up, talk to Vas. Explain. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say, but he doesn’t want Vas to be mad at him. And Vas looked kind of like his feelings were hurt too. That tears at Josh something bad. He doesn’t want to hurt Vas. Vas is great. He gets Josh, and Josh gets him. They like the same stuff, and Vas even thinks Josh is funny. Not a lot of people get his jokes. 

House is dead quiet when he finally wakes up. That kind of works for him, because he’s got something of a hangover, and it takes a shower and some coffee before he really feels awake. When he goes out on the porch to smoke a cigarette, Loretta is sitting on the porch next door, crying into her phone about Missy, but she’s moved past the loud part and now she’s just blowing her nose a lot and hiccuping. Josh ignores her. Missy and Loretta have been going through this cycle on a repeating loop since they moved in, so this isn’t the first time he’s seen it. 

Vas sometimes will go over and talk to whichever one is crying, try to cheer them up. Josh doesn’t get why. But him and Red used to see couples like them every day growing up, and they’d both gotten tired of that shit before high school. The only time other people needed to get involved with that kind of drama was when someone needed to call the cops, in Josh’s experience. 

Sitting around ain’t making him feel any better about today or yesterday, so he gets his shit together and goes to campus, kind of hoping he’ll find Vas. He could just text him, or something, but he can’t think of what to say. He’s better in person, when he’s got to think on his feet. 

There’s no one there though, at least no one that matters. So Josh gets some work done. Posts grades. If anything, it’ll shut the freshman up. He has way too many emails in his school account. God, these kids are annoying. And needy. Like freshman year even matters. 

When he gets up to get coffee, his head hurts for a different reason, so he takes the coffee outside. Great outdoors, fresh air, all that bullshit. 

And because his luck sucks here lately, there’s Emma fucking Cullen, sitting on the good bench. She looks about as good as he feels, so there’s that. 

He comes over, pulling a twenty out of his wallet. When he hands it over, she just stares at him. “For the taxi.” It’s twenty he ain’t looking to part with, but when he thinks about it, Emma and Matthew are probably about as poor as he is. 

“Right,” she says, and takes it, stuffing it down her shirt. 

“Why do you all treat that like another pocket? No one wants to handle money that’s been in there.” 

“Because women’s clothes don’t have real pockets,” she says sharply, pressing her water bottle to her head. “Take it up with the patriarchy.” 

There’s nowhere else to sit, so he sits by her. She doesn’t like it, she can move.

He doesn’t think they’re going to talk, but then she says, “So Teddy is mad at me. It’s partly your fault.” 

“How d’you figure that?” He ain’t getting blamed for shit he didn’t actually do. 

“Because, jackass, after encountering your drunk, stupid ass, I apparently thought it was a _great_ idea to get into a fight with him over text. God, I told Matthew to take my phone away when I’m drunk. And _he’s_ mad at me for quote, ‘being immature’. And then I got mad at him for being right, and now…” She waves her water bottle around. “And now I’m hungover and sitting on a bench talking to _you_. I need more friends.” 

“You know, all that sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” 

She makes a sound that actually makes him jump, it comes from so deep in her throat. “No, jerk-ass, it’s an ‘us’ problem. Our friends and significant others are all pissed off at us because we’re being assholes.”

“I ain’t got a ‘significant other’. And that phrase is stupid anyway. Just say ‘boyfriend’. Or ‘husband’. Or ‘girlfriend’.” 

“Well, some people aren’t either gender, so where does that logic leave you?”

He hadn’t considered that, but she’s not getting the best of him. “Then say ‘partner’. ‘Significant other’ is too long. And it sounds pretentious.” 

“Whatever,” she says. “You get the point. We both fucked up.” 

Yeah, that is the point, isn’t it? “Vas isn’t my boyfriend.” Hell, Josh isn’t even sure they’re friends right now. He was really mad. 

“He’s not?” 

Josh looks at her. “No?”

“You sure about that?” That doesn’t warrant an answer, especially after that fight with Vas last night. It’s none of her damn business, anyway. “Look, whatever. The problem is that, for some reason I will never understand, my best friend and your friend like each other. A lot. But, because I love Teddy, and presumably, you feel whatever passes for affection with you assholes for Red, we are…” She swallows. Looks like it hurts. “We are going to have to, as Matthew said, grow the fuck up and get along.” 

“Maybe they’ll break up.” 

She kind of slumps down, crossing her arms. Doesn’t say anything for a second. “He makes Teddy happy. Really happy. And it’s none of your business, but Teddy hasn’t exactly had it easy in life. I want him to be happy. That’s...being a good friend.”

Thing is, Red hasn’t had it easy either. Josh knows. Just like Red was there for everything with him, he was there for everything with Red. The money stuff, Red’s dad getting sick from the shit that Denali had caused back home. The fights that that caused between Red’s parents. Red and him getting into trouble, and the fights _that_ caused. Shit at school, from the teachers and the other students. 

Denali showing up. Almost getting Josh with his bullshit, and the way that had hurt Red. Josh had never felt as bad as he did when he found out just what had happened with the reservation, the way Denali had sold out his own family and their rights, and that Josh had almost betrayed Red himself. 

Well, this almost feels as bad. Hell, this might feel worse, because there was no one pulling Josh’s strings this time. No, that was all him last night. 

Red’s been there for him whenever shit went sideways. Josh has tried to be there for him, too. 

In that light, this funding shit doesn’t seem all that important. What’s always been important to Josh is Red. Making sure Red was good, that no one was messing with him anymore. That shit had mostly stopped after they both hit six feet and over, and filled out. It was easy to push around the only Native kid in school and his trailer trash friend when they were scrawny. Less easy when they both got big enough to fight back.

And deface the school’s racist ass mascot. Allegedly.

“So, what? We’re just going to be friends, now?”

“God no, you’re a mathematics major.” He’s about to say something back, but she holds up a hand. “No. Sorry. Habit.” She waves her hands again, almost hitting him with the water bottle. “What I’m saying is, we need a truce. Okay, when it comes to funding, it’s on. But when we’re off campus, when it’s us and our friends...we have to have something in common.”

“Statistically speaking, we have to.” What, he can’t think of. So he tries, “You like hockey?” 

She nods. “I can work with hockey.” 

“You’re not a Pittsburgh fan, right?”

“I might kill you just for insinuating that. I’m a Caps fan.” 

It’s something. “I can work with that.”

He’s done worse for Red. 

Like now, when he walks up to the front porch and finds Red sitting there, smoking and watching the neighborhood. He doesn’t look at Josh when Josh walks past him and dumps his stuff on the couch, but Josh grabs two sodas out of the fridge and goes back out, sitting down beside him and offering him one. 

He’s going to have to say it. “I’m sorry.” Red doesn’t say nothing back. And not his usual not saying nothing, but the pissed-off kind. “I’m really sorry, man. I was acting like an asshole.” 

“Yeah.”

“Good to know we’re on the same page.” It’s not a fun page, but at least it’s a page. “Look, you got to give me some leeway here. You just kind of sprung this on me. You know I don’t do so great with new information. Especially bad new information.” He can feel Red gearing up to kill him, so Josh quickly adds, “I’m adjusting, alright? Give me a minute.” 

Again, silence, but the better kind, the one that means Josh just needs to wait for Red to talk. And after a minute, he does. “You know no one sticks around with me.” Yeah, Josh knows that. It’s been the same for him. Except for each other. “Teddy likes me. All the…” He shakes his head. “All the _shit_ that goes on with me, that puts everyone else off, none of that matters to him. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t. He just handles it. And he still likes me.”

“Emma did say something about him being really nice.” Now that Josh thinks on it, really does, he can’t remember ever hearing Teddy say anything back to Josh no matter what he said. He usually just shook his head and walked away, or told Josh to leave him alone. “Makes sense. He’d have to be a fucking saint to put up with you long-term. Me, I’m a fucking asshole. That’s why you and me get along so well. Birds of a feather.” 

“He is nice,” Red says, running his hand over his scalp. “He gets me. In his own way. And I get him. I want to be with him.” 

Thing is, people don’t ever really get the two of them. The only person who’s ever gotten Josh that’s not Red is Vas. 

“Wasn’t keeping it from you,” Red says, because yeah, they do get each other, and of course Red’s worked out part of why Josh has been so mad about this. “Didn’t know how to tell you. I knew you wouldn’t like it, and I just didn’t want all that in the middle of it. But he was starting to get upset about keeping it a secret. Guess he doesn’t do that with Emma. And I didn’t want him to think that...I don’t know, that I didn’t want to be with him.” He shrugs. “Probably could have handled it better.”

“Yeah, but if we handled it like real adults, we wouldn’t be us.” 

Red smirks. “True.” 

“We suck at this.” 

Also true, but Red shoulders him, so they’re cool. And that’s what’s important. 

At least a part of it, because Red reminds him that he’s not the only one Josh is going to be making up with. “Vas is really mad at you.”

Yep, there is that. “Yeah, I definitely fucked up there.” 

“That friends-with-benefits shit is always trouble. Could have told you that.” 

Josh stares at him for a good second, then slumps down on the porch. “You know about that?” 

“I’m not fucking stupid. And you’re not subtle.” He elbows Josh. “What’s the big deal? You know I don’t give a shit what you do.” 

“I don’t even know anymore.” It’s not like he thought Red would get judgy about it or something. Red really doesn’t care about that kind of thing. “Kind of felt like if it got out, it wouldn’t be a thing anymore, I guess.” Everyone gets tired of him eventually, some faster than others. Vas would too, sooner or later, but if they kept things simple, maybe it would last just a little longer this time. 

That had sure worked out well. 

“Vas is cool,” Red says. “And he likes you. Don’t know why. Probably has brain damage, or something.”

“Shut up, asshole. What do you know, you’re dating some straight-edge bio major.”

Red punches him in the arm, but he definitely had it coming, so he lets it slide.


	3. Chapter 3

The thing about making up with someone is that it helps to know what it is exactly you’re apologizing for. And while Josh knows Vas is mad at him, and he knows what set it off, the details of their argument are fuzzy for Sober-Josh. 

Ain’t helping nothing that he can’t find Vas. He’s being avoided, which isn’t easy to do when you live across the hall from the person you’re avoiding, but it turns out Vas is damn good at laying low when he wants to. 

Red is no fucking help. 

“C’mon man, just tell me what to do here.”

He’s in Red’s room, which is as good as being in his own room as far as he’s concerned, so he’s sprawled out on Red’s bed, head hanging over the side, watching whatever Red’s doing upside-down. 

“I’m not getting into this,” Red says. Whatever he’s doing on the computer looks like it involves names linking together, so Josh tips his head to get a better look. “I’ve got shit to do. And it’s not my problem.” 

“Yeah, well you’re gonna be involved if he moves out,” Josh points out. “Who the hell else is going to live with us? Billy’s gone up in the world.” Billy used to be their third housemate, before he moved in with Goody. Honestly, Josh isn’t sure they could even find someone they’d both be willing to live with again. “Arcade is probably going to get kicked out of that sober living place. You want him back?” The sound Red makes answers that. “Yeah, thought so, asshole.” 

Red pushes back from his desk, turning his chair so he’s really looking at Josh. “You fucked up. Not me.” 

He’s not wrong, but Josh already knew that. “I don’t even know what he wants from me, man. I can’t remember what he was yelling about.” He’s keeping his hands busy with one of Red’s rubber ducks, and now he throws it up at the ceiling, getting it through the stationary fan blades. “Jesus wept, I don’t even know what I’m saying sorry for.” 

“Existing?”

“Shut the fuck up, asshole,” Josh says. “How the hell did you even get a boyfriend?”

Red shrugs. “I’m hot.”

“And so humble, too,” Josh mocks. “You know what, my mom’s got pictures from when we were kids, I’m showing ‘em to Teddy.” That might require talking to Teddy like he’s a person, but at this point, Josh is willing to make sacrifices if it means bringing Red down a peg or two. “Shit, why is this complicated?” When did it even get complicated? That was not what was supposed to be happening. Him and Vas had been working _because_ Josh hadn’t been letting it get complicated.

“Friends with benefits is a bad idea.”

“Yeah, you said that already.” He gets hit in the head with another one of the stupid rubber ducks. “You only got one free punch, man, don’t push it.” 

“You’re in my room.” 

“Just ‘cause Teddy’s into kinky shit, doesn’t mean I am,” he says, just to say it, twisting around so he’s sitting up. “Is he? Is the straight-edge dork into BDSM? Because that would make my week -” That gets him punched in the arm again, Red leaning over to do it, but the angle makes it weird, so it doesn’t hurt too much. “Quit hitting me! People are gonna think I’m a battered spouse or something.” 

“No one cares about you that much.”

Josh puts his hand over his chest, miming hurt. “Right in the heart, Red. Here I was, thinking we had something special. Do all our years together mean nothing to you?” He flops back on the bed, dropping it before Red actually gets it in his head to kick his ass. They break anything in Red’s room, Red’ll break something Josh loves back. “Maybe I should just let Vas hit me.” He’s willing to try anything to get Vas to talk to him.

“I don’t think that’s healthy,” Red points out. “For your kind of relationship.”

“Probably not.” Was worth a shot. “You pissed off Suzy Q. yet?” He thinks about it, and knowing Red, that’s a stupid question in itself. “Scratch that. How did you make up with him after you pissed him off?”

Red doesn’t answer him for a second, so Josh sits up again so he can see him. Red is kind of looking at nothing, but Josh knows that face. He’s actually _embarrassed_. That’s usually comedy gold, but Josh reins it in. He still needs advice. “Brought him breakfast from the Madeline Cafe.” Red shrugs. “He likes that place.”

“Yeah, because it’s fucking expensive.” It’s a girly, wannabe-French place on the nicer side of town. Granted, the food is awesome. It’s just way out of their usual price-range, and they are very much not that place’s preferred clientele. “Jesus, I don’t even know who you are right now.” 

“Fuck you,” Red says. 

“Buying him food ain’t a half-bad idea though, I’ll give you that.” Vas loves food. “It’ll at least get my foot in the door.” He finds the rubber duck again in the mess that Red calls a bed so he has something to do with his hands. “If you could put a monetary value on forgiveness, how much do you think we’re talking here?”

“Why didn’t I get food?”

“Don’t cheapen our love with money,” Josh says, pointing at him with the duck. 

“I’m hungry.” 

“Cry me a fucking river.” But something about this is niggling at Josh, that weird feeling he gets in his brain when Sober-Him is maybe remembering something Drunk-Him did. He tries to concentrate on it, but he’s got nothing so far. “Okay, shot in the dark. Why do you think Vas is pissed off at me?” 

“You were being an asshole.”

“I said I was sorry, quit milking it.” Red kicks the bed. “He was mad at me ‘cause I was pissed off about you and your thing. I got that much. We were already kind of having a fight about it.” Well, he thinks they were. He’s still not too clear on that part. “This was something else. Seriously, help me out here.”

Red huffs, then shakes his head. “Could ask.” 

He doesn’t want to have to do that. In his experience, having to ask what you did wrong just pissed the person off more. But he doesn’t want Vas mad at him anymore. He did something that hurt Vas, and it’s eating him up from the inside out. He’s got to make this right. “Fuck it,” he says. “Least if he’s yelling at me, he’s talking to me.”

But that doesn’t happen that day, or the next. Vas is nowhere to be seen when Josh is home, and Red doesn’t see him either. 

What does happen is that on Friday, Josh comes home, and Teddy Q is sitting in the kitchen, eating a pop tart and wearing one of Red’s shirts. He looks over at Josh, but doesn’t say anything. Just keeps eating the pop tart. Doesn’t look angry or nothing though, at least. 

Trying to avoid ‘awkward’, Josh just comes in and says, “Hey,” dropping his stuff on the rickety kitchen table they use as a shelf, and going into the fridge for a soda. “What’s up?”

“The sun,” Teddy replies, offhandedly. 

“Wrong, it’s dark out,” Josh argues, mostly because that joke is stupid and always has been. Gives him something to say, too. “What brings you by?”

“The heat is out at my place. Red said I could stay over here until they get it fixed,” Teddy says, putting the pop tart down on a plate. “Do you mind?”

It’s fucking cold out, so it’s not like Josh could kick him out even if he did. Red doesn’t want a frozen boyfriend. “It’s cool.” He looks around, but doesn’t see hide nor hair of Red coming to save him. Shit, he has got to be able to have a conversation with this guy about something. Red might start bringing him home for holidays, and stuff. “How’s your dissertation going?” 

“It’s going,” Teddy says. “Yours?” 

“Same.” 

There’s silence, definitely awkward, for a good minute. Josh knows damn well Red told Teddy what he said that night. Maybe he should just say he’s sorry, get it over with. 

But before he can, Teddy rests his chin in his hand, and says. “If it makes you feel better, and stop making that face, Emma said some pretty nasty things herself.” He clicks his tongue. “Something about how if I was going to be that shallow, I might as well go for broke and sleep with you.” 

Josh thinks he should be insulted. Knowing her, she sure as hell meant it that way. “Joke’s on her, I’m great in bed.”

“If you say so,” Teddy says, shrugging. “But I’ve got a rule about not hooking up with people that are already in relationships.” 

He almost says something back about not being interested in nerds, but it’s not that great a comeback, and anyway, he doesn’t get what Teddy means. “I’m not in a relationship.” 

“I thought you and Vasquez were a thing?” He finishes the pop tart, and brings his plate to the sink. “Did you break up?” 

“We’re not together,” Josh says, watching him wash the plate and stick it in the drying rack, trying not to show how uncomfortable he is with this subject. “Never have been.” 

“Sorry, I just assumed. You act like you’re a thing.” 

“Well, we’re not.” This conversation feels familiar. What’s that word? Deja vu, that’s it. “Where’s Red?”

“He left while I was sleeping. Note said he was going for a run, maybe to the gym. He probably will. This whole thing has been stressing him out, and you know how he gets.” Yeah, he does. Red doesn’t do well with sitting around when something’s bugging him. 

Josh don’t like the idea of that. “He knows I’m alright with...this…now?” He gestures at Teddy so he knows what Josh means. “I’m not just saying it. Still don’t _get it_, but…” But Red is too important to him for him to keep being an asshole over it, so Josh will deal. “‘Cause, if you...I mean...” He’s not coming up with anything that doesn’t sound stupid.

Luckily, Teddy cuts him off before Josh is forced to explain himself. “Yeah, I already got this speech from Emma. Let’s don’t, and say we did, alright? And that’s not what I meant. It’s just this project, is all.” He leans back against the counter, still looking at Josh, even after Josh starts digging around in the fridge for something easy to eat. “So, if you and Vas aren’t a thing, why was he saying all that stuff to you outside of Goody’s house?” 

That puts food right out of Josh’s head. “What do you know about that?” That sounds like he’s accusing Teddy of something, and Teddy must agree from the face he makes. Josh needs Teddy to fucking talk right now though, so he follows it up with, “I was really drunk, alright? I don’t remember what the hell we were fighting about, or why he’s not talking to me.”

“Oh,” Teddy says, softening up a little. “I stepped outside with Tanisha when she wanted to smoke. Could hear you two all the way up on the porch.” He wrinkles his nose. “Well, I caught most of it, at least. Sounded like you were fighting about commitment issues, or something like it. You were saying something about not being a great boyfriend, and then Vasquez said something about Red, and he came back into the house. You sat down outside. I figured you didn’t want to talk to me, but when I tried to get Red to go see if you were alright, he was already pissed off at you. Emma and Matthew were leaving, so I asked them instead. Wanted to make sure you didn’t freeze to death out there. Emma might not like you all that much, but Matthew wouldn’t let you die.” 

And now Josh feels...well, not bad, exactly, but guilty for saying the shitty things he’d said about Teddy. He does not do well with guilt. “You’re like, really nice, aren’t you?” 

“Not really,” he says, shrugging. “But I do tend to keep things in perspective. And just because you and Red were fighting, doesn’t mean you’re not important to him. Plus, I knew you’d both get over it eventually. You’ve been friends for, what? Fifteen years? You got over him breaking your tooth. Dating me can’t be worse than that.” 

That’s all pretty true, so Josh doesn’t argue, just shrugs too. His brain does come back around to the important part though, which is what Vas is mad about. “Vas is mad at me about Red?” And it doesn’t sound like it’s for the reason Josh thinks.

“How drunk were you?”

“Not the point. He was talking about Red?”

Teddy nods. “Look, I wasn’t trying to get into your business -”

“No, dude, right now I need you to be.” He hates it, but this is more important than his feelings. “What did he say?”

“I didn’t get all of it. You two were down on the corner already,” he explains, scratching at his hairline a little. “But he was definitely saying something about Red, and then you said something about being boyfriend-material.” 

How the fuck did they even get on that subject? “Shit.” Josh thumps the back of his head against the fridge. “_Shit_.” Saying it doesn’t help, but he can’t think of anything else to say. “What does that mean?”

He doesn’t mean it as a real question, but Teddy asks, “Do you want my advice?”

At this point, Josh has slid down to sit on the floor, his back to the fridge. “Why not?” He’s got nothing, and he just wants Vas to fucking talk to him again. 

“I think you should talk to Vasquez about what you want.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, no offense, but I didn’t pay all that much attention to y’all before I started seeing Red.” Offense taken. What good are mortal enemies if they don’t notice you? “And even then, I definitely thought you and Vasquez were together. That fight sounded like you were together. But now you’re saying that ain’t the case, and I honestly don’t get it. Do you?”

Josh huffs, and tips his head back, looking up. They really should do something about that crack in the ceiling. It can’t be good. “I don’t know. Just…we’re friends. We fool around.” If Red already knows, there’s no reason to pretend it wasn’t happening. Past tense. He’s pretty sure that’s over. “That’s all.” 

“That still all you want?” 

This conversation is so outside of his comfort zone. “What do you mean?” 

“Wow,” Teddy says quietly. “And I thought I had issues.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Josh wasn’t planning on doing that, so no problem there. “Alright, let me put it this way; how would you feel if Vasquez was the one who decided he wanted to see me?” 

“That ain’t ever going to happen,” Josh says hotly, something mean and angry suddenly pushing up in his chest. “And if you cheat on Red -”

Teddy huffs. “You are not this stupid.”

Josh thunks his head against the fridge again, frustrated. “Like you know shit about me.” But he isn’t that stupid. Not really. And he knows what that feeling was; that was jealousy. That was real, honest-to-God _jealousy_. “Shit, am I into Vas?” Is that what this is? 

“I don’t know. Are you?” 

Yeah. He is. Shit. “Did I say that to Vas?”

“Again, I don’t know. I didn’t hear all of it.” 

It makes some kind of sense though. When he’s drunk, he talks too much about shit he shouldn’t. And he has a bad habit of getting in his feelings when he’s drunk, too. With all this shit going on with Red, it’s possible he decided he should kick start something with Vas, or just started _talking_. About what Vas means to him; how much he likes Vas, how much he wants Vas to just stick around forever. How much he wants to mean something to Vas. 

No shit, he’s into Vas. He’s been into Vas for awhile now. 

Damn it. “Now what?”

He kind of forgot about Teddy for a second there, and it wasn’t really a question for him, but Teddy answers anyway. “I think that’s a conversation you need to have with Vasquez. Probably help if you’re sober when you try and do it this time.”

Josh points at Teddy without looking up, and nods. “That’s actually good advice.” 

“I wasn’t...never mind.” 

“Why are you sitting on the floor?” Oh, good, Red’s back. Great timing.

“Dude, I’m going to put a bell on you one of these days,” Josh threatens. “I’m having a crisis, that cool with you?” Maybe he really is as stupid as people always think he is, if he couldn’t work out on his own he was feeling something for Vas. 

“Can’t stop you,” Red says, cutting right through Josh’s self-pity and kicking him in the thigh. “Move. You’re blocking the fridge.” 

“Your concern is overwhelming.” But he scoots over anyway, because he ain’t looking to get kicked for real. He already feels bad. “Seriously, Red, back off, it’s embarrassing. I already know you love me, and you don’t want to make little Suzy Q here jealous, do you?” 

He can see Teddy rolling his eyes. “‘Cause I’ve never heard that one before.” 

Red must have taken a shower at the gym, because his hair is wet. “Dude, you’re dripping on the floor.” That gets him Red wringing out his ponytail over Josh. “Motherfucker!” He kicks his foot out and gets Red in the shin, and gets kicked again himself, hard enough to move him some. “That hurt!” 

“Good,” Red says. 

It’s not worth it to get up just yet; and Josh is feeling too damn lousy to really start something. That’s out of the ordinary for him, and he knows Red knows it. He can tell from the way Red stands there, looking down at him, concerned. Shit, he must look about as bad as he feels.

But Red also knows when Josh needs to be left alone, so he just puts his hand on Josh’s head, and pushes it to the side a bit, before he goes to his room, Teddy following. 

And now it’s just Josh. Just him and his thoughts. 

Damn if that ain’t nerve-wracking. 

He gets up off the floor, because that’s not a good look, or good for his back, and goes to his own room, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. “What am I going to do?” he asks the overhead light. Someone who had lived here before had slapped some glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling at some point. They’re old enough they don’t really work anymore, but Josh likes tracing the pattern of them during times like this. “What am I going to do?” 

Talk to Vas, that’s for sure. He’s going to have to explain himself somehow. Tell Vas he never meant to drag feelings into this. That Vas doesn’t have to worry about it unless he wants to. Which Josh seriously doubts. Why the hell else would he be avoiding Josh?

It’s not like this was ever going to work for long, anyway. Josh knew that. 

Nah, the thing is, Vas comes from a completely different walk of life than Josh. Josh has been to his family’s house. It’s nice; got a kitchen table and a whole separate dining room, in one of those neighborhoods with an HOA and a clubhouse with a pool. Hell, Vas went to private school. All his sisters do too, except for Mari. She got into some fancy magnet school. 

He doesn’t think Vas looks down on him, but he doesn’t think Vas is dumb enough to consider Josh for the long haul either. This was always just an easy thing to help pass the time, until they graduated and went on their way. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, trying to stop tearing himself down in his own head. “What am I going to do?” 

He doesn’t know. 

But they can’t keep this up either. There’s only so long they can go without talking to each other. 

He’s not talking to himself when Red lets himself into Josh’s room, at least. Red doesn’t ask before digging through Josh’s dresser, just does it, looking all sorts of annoyed. “What do you need?” 

“Shirt,” Red says, shutting the drawer and opening another one. 

“What’s wrong with your shirts? You lose some definition?” Not from what he can see, but Red still gives him a middle finger. “Nah, what’s going on, man?” 

“Going to dinner at Horne’s house.” That gets Josh to move, interested in a worthwhile distraction from his own stupid problems. 

“Why?” Red just grunts, and Josh snickers. The more he gets used to this part, the more potential it’s got for some payback for all the shit Red’s given him over the years. “Hey, does your mom know you’ve got a boyfriend?” No, she does not, guessing from the way Red freezes. “I’m telling her, man. I’m totally telling her.” He points at Red, knowing Red can see him in the mirror. “That’s what you get for telling my mom about that thing with the roof last year.”

“Whatever,” Red mutters, still looking through Josh’s dresser. 

“Ain’t ‘whatever’, Auntie is going to lose it. You’re finally doing something normal people do, and she might get some grandkids.” Teddy looks like the kind of guy that has daydreams about a house and adopting some kids. 

In any case, Josh gets up off the bed to help, opening the right drawer and finding a long-sleeved black tee that’s in good shape. They’re not the same size, but close enough it fits Red alright when he puts it on. “Does it hurt to wear sleeves?” It’s just too easy to pass up. 

“Does it hurt to be stupid?” 

“Does it hurt to be completely whipped?” He dodges when Red goes to hit him, and manages to get his arm around Red’s neck and get him in a lock. “Think you’re getting soft on me, Red.” He gets elbowed in the stomach for that, but not too hard. “Yep, definitely getting soft.” And then he gets elbowed hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs, but he asked for it, so he can’t even get all that mad. 

While he’s holding the dresser to keep himself upright, trying to breathe through the pain, Red fixes his hair again. “We’ll be back late,” he says, then checks over his shoulder, getting serious. “Try and get this shit with Vas settled. I’m tired of it.” 

“Feeling the love, here,” Josh wheezes. Least when his ribs are aching, it’s distracting him from this noise in his head. 

He swears he can hear Red roll his eyes. “Josh. I’m not playing.” 

“I’m on it, alright?” He stands up straight, rubbing his ribs. They might be getting too old for this shit. “Think I figured out what happened, so I’ve got something to work with at least.” He can’t guarantee that he isn’t going to make things about ten times worse, so he doesn’t say anything about that part. “Hey, next time I get drunk and start talking, just do us all a favor and knock me the fuck out.” 

Red narrows his eyes at him for a good minute, then sticks his hands in his pockets and says, “I want that in writing.” 

“Will do.” 

He watches Red for a second, and something occurs to him. Red looks nervous as fuck, which makes sense. But it looks like the good kind of nervous. Like Red might actually be pretty happy overall. 

Neither of them have had a whole lot of that in their lives. And even if Josh has fucked up his own life for the time being, that’s not on Red. “Hey,” he says, letting himself turn serious too. “Dude, you know I really am sorry about that shit I pulled, right?”

“We’ve fought over dumber shit.” 

They definitely have. Hell, sometimes they’ve fought just because they were tired of looking at each other’s faces. But he knows Red gets what he means this time. So now they’re really done talking about it. 

Red checks the door again. “I like Vas,” he says. He rolls his shoulders a little, then follows that up with, “But he fucks with you, I’ll kill him.” 

That’s a little much for Josh to deal with. “Your boyfriend’s got a big mouth.” 

“Didn’t need him to tell me,” Red says. Because yeah, he probably didn’t. Red’s probably known the whole time. 

But it’s still a little much for him right now, so Josh just kind of nods, tries to play it off. “Ain’t that serious. But good to know you’re willing to go to prison for my honor. That’s really touching”

“Like I’d get caught.” 

Someone comes up the steps, but it’s not Teddy; it’s Vas. He stops for a second, but just nods at them both, and then goes into his own room, shutting the door behind him. 

That’s not a good sign. 

“Think he’s up for talking?”

Red shrugs. 

“You’re real fucking helpful.” At least some things never change. “Alright, wish me luck, and go the fuck away. You’ve witnessed me humiliating myself enough for a couple of lifetimes.” 

“Don’t,” Red says. “You talk yourself down, you’re not going to get anywhere.” He backs off, and says, “Good luck,” over his shoulder before he disappears down the steps. 

“And then there were two,” Josh says out loud, after he hears the front door open and shut. “Alright.”

He’s not going in empty-handed, so he orders some food. While he’s waiting, he tries to come up with a game plan, but he’s drawing the same blank he has been all afternoon. Damn it, he thought if he at least knew what the fuck it was he had done, this would be easier, but no, of course it’s worse. Why is it always worse with him?

Friends-with-benefits was a bad idea. He should have known. He already knew when it started how much he liked Vas, but he hadn’t been thinking that far ahead. He has got to start doing that. It’s come back to bite him in the ass too many times at this point. 

Shit. _Shit_, what does he even _say_? ‘Sorry I caught feelings and dumped them on you while I was drunk?’ And what if there’s nothing he can say that’ll fix this? He can’t blame Vas if he doesn’t want to stick around the house once the lease is up. 

Josh doesn’t want that. Just thinking about it sucks. Even if Vas doesn’t want this whole thing put on him, Josh can probably get over that, long as Vas stays. 

Probably. 

Doorbell rings, so that’s one thing down. 

He knocks on Vas’ door, and Vas calls out that it’s open. He’s sitting at his desk, but it looks like he’s just playing a game, so Josh doesn’t even have an exit strategy. He’s got to do this. “Ordered some food.” That’s a safe opening. “Red’s out, so it’s just us.”

“Where’d he go?”

“Horne’s having some kind of fancy dinner party, so Red got suckered into it.” He leans on the doorframe, so he doesn’t fidget. “You didn’t see Teddy when you came in?” 

Vas pushes his chair back from the desk, rocking it from side to side with his foot. “So they’re still a thing?”

Josh isn’t sure why Vas would think otherwise. “Pretty sure they were both just pissed off at me and Emma, not each other.” He might be man enough to admit when he’s fucked up, but damn if he ain’t taking the opportunity to take Emma Cullen down with him. “So they’re good.”

“And you’re alright with that?”

It’s not the question, it’s the way he asks. Like he’s all concerned about Josh, or something. “I guess. Red is going of his own free will, that’s the bit that gets me. Getting him to Sam’s that first time was like pulling fucking teeth. Almost had to bribe him.” He thinks about it. “Well, I guess Teddy’s bribing him, if we want to get technical.” 

“Wasn’t what I meant, Josh.” It’s like someone fucking died, that’s how serious Vas looks. Jesus Christ, how far did that fight go that night? What the _hell_ did Josh say? “You talked to Red?”

“Yeah, but he’s actually been around for me to talk to.” He means it like a joke, even if it really has been tearing him up inside that Vas doesn’t want to see him. “I told you, me and him, we fight, and then we get over it. We talked, we’re over it.”

Vas is looking out the window now, not at Josh. “You think it’s going to be that easy?” 

That’s fair. There’s a damn good chance he’s going to fuck up again when it comes to this; he’s not entirely sure he can keep it to the kind of civil that Teddy’s probably used to. Then again, the guy is dating Red of his own free will. And Emma Cullen ain’t no picnic either, but Teddy’s apparently managed to stay friends with her his whole life. He can probably deal with Josh alright long-term. “Nah, but me and Suzy Q. will just get used to each other.” He _had_ listened all the way through Josh’s little moment earlier. Hadn’t even made fun of him, and he’d had every opportunity. “Actually, might be hard to keep on not liking the guy. He really is nice.” 

“Josh.” 

That just makes Josh squirm. “Could you quit looking at me like I’m terminal? It’s starting to freak me out.” If Vas is going to shoot him down again, Josh would really rather they just get it over and done with. This sad look he keeps getting is making him feel kind of sick. 

But all that gets him some cursing in Spanish. “Did you actually talk to Red? About all of this? About you and him?”

Okay, now Josh is lost again. “What?” 

“You can’t just ignore this, Josh, this shit doesn’t go away just because you can’t tell him.” He stands up, and stretches, leaving his hands on the back of his head, elbows out. “You two have been friends since you were kids. It’s not like this is really a surprise.” He drops his arms, but only for a second. Rubs his face, next. It’s almost twitchy, but it’s too tired-looking to really be called that. “Your parents probably had bets going.” 

“Vas, man, what the fuck are you talking about?’ Josh doesn’t get what Red has to do with anything between the two of them. “I mean, yeah, I always knew eventually someone would like Red. His mom’s always saying it’s a good thing he turned out hot.” She usually included Josh in that too, Josh’s mom nodding along. It would be hurtful if it wasn’t kind of true. They’re both a lot of trouble, always have been. “Just...wasn’t prepared for it to be Teddy Q. But it is, and I’m over it. Mostly.” 

And he’s going to enjoy telling Ms. Poppy, so there is that. That’ll get both their moms off his ass this break, if they’ve got something to harass Red about.

None of that seems to sink in with Vas. “So you’re just going to, what, exactly, Josh? Pretend you’re okay with this?” 

“I just said I’m okay with it! Why are we even still talking about this?” It’s over, done, and it’s not what they need to be talking about.

“Because -” And then Vas kind of stops, like the fight’s gone out of him. “Look, Josh, I’m trying to be a good friend here, alright, but this is hard enough for me.” 

That’s the last thing Josh wants to be doing to Vas right now. This conversation has gotten so far out of his control, he doesn’t know if it’s going up or down or fucking sideways, but he knows it’s not going where it needs to go. Maybe he was kind of hoping Vas would just get right to it, but that clearly ain’t happening. 

So Josh has got to do it. “I shouldn’t have said what I said, Vas. Wasn’t fair. I know that’s not something you were looking to hear from me.” And like he was thinking before, he can’t blame Vas for that. Not a lot of people are in the market for some trailer trash kid with one friend to his name and not a whole lot else. Plus all the other baggage that comes with Josh. “I’m not asking for anything though. I don’t know what I said exactly, but whatever it sounded like I was angling for, I know that’s not happening. It’s cool.” 

Vas ain’t looking at him like he’s dying anymore, but now he just looks confused. Well, that makes two of them, at least. “You don’t remember what we were talking about, do you?”

“Hey, I haven’t been drunk in awhile, alright? My tolerance is shot to hell.” 

“What do you think you said?”

He’s not falling into that trap, and he wants to get this over with. “Don’t pull that shit on me, Vas. If you remember, just tell me what it was I said that pissed you off. I can’t make it right if I don’t know.” And that’s all he wants right now. It might be the best he’ll get, and just because he let himself start thinking about Vas like that, doesn’t mean he’s stupid enough to lose all of Vas over it. 

“It was stupid,” Vas says. “It wasn’t just you, it was me too. I said some shit I should have kept to myself.” He shakes his head. “Was putting myself into your business where I shouldn’t of. And I was…” There’s a pause, like he’s gearing up for something, and then he says, real quiet, “I was jealous, Josh.”

That doesn’t fit, not with what little Josh remembers and what Teddy had said. “Jealous about what?”

“Red. You, and Red. How you feel about him.” Now he’s lost Josh again. What is he talking about? “I know we were just messing around, alright? But I was kind of thinking it was going somewhere. And then all this happened. I wasn’t even surprised, or anything. I knew you and Red were close.” 

Josh is still a little lost, but he thinks he’s finding his way back to the path, thinks he knows what Vas is getting at, now, even if it sounds kind of crazy. “Vas, do you think I’m in love with Red?” 

“It’s not like I’m mad at you about it,” Vas says, still all sad and defeated looking. “I get it, okay? You’ve known him forever. You’re closer to him than anyone. And it wasn’t like we were really together -”

He’s catching himself up on what Vas was implying, but he’s pretty sure Vas was saying that he wanted something more from Josh, so he’s not letting Vas go down that road. “I am not in love with Red,” he says quickly, cutting Vas off. “I mean, I love Red. But not like that.” It’s just not how they are with each other, never has been. “Red’s like family.” Better than, even, because unlike the rest of his family, his mother being the exception, Red’s stuck with him through thick and thin. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding us? You thought something was going on between me and him?”

“I thought I was…” Vas looks like he’s been smacked good across the face. “I don’t know, letting you two work it out?” He licks his lips, and finally just sits down on the bed. “I thought that’s why you were so pissed off about this.” 

“No, I was mad because Red lied to me, and out of all people, he picked Emma’s minion.” He thought he was making himself pretty clear on that part. “You were jealous?” If Vas was jealous, that’s gotta mean _something_, and Vas said it himself that he thought maybe they were going somewhere. 

“Yeah,” Vas says. “I was.” 

_Was_. That might not be good, but Josh has got a shot right now, and that’s more than he ever thought he would get. “Vas, there ain’t nothing going on between me and Red, and there ain’t ever going to be. Not like that.” He comes a little closer, hoping he can get this right. He’s got to get this right. “But maybe, you and me, we could just -”

Vas’ head snaps up, and he says, dead-serious, “No.” 

Oh. Well. Okay, then. That’s what Josh was expecting right from the start, right? No surprises there. 

So why does it still have to hurt so damn bad? 

“That’s,” he pulls himself together, or tries to, because being pathetic isn’t going to help him, “that’s cool, I get it.” 

“No, you don’t,” Vas tells him, and that hurts too, in that way that gets Josh anticipating the blow to come. There’s plenty of reasons Vas could have for changing his mind, if he’d ever really been thinking seriously about Josh that way. Josh could list them, if he wanted to. But he doesn’t need to hear it from Vas.

“It’s whatever, alright?” It’s not, not right now, but Josh will get there. What’s one more person wanting fuck all to do with him? Not like that hasn’t been the story of his life. “Forget it. Come on, food’s getting cold.” 

He’s not expecting Vas to grab him and spin him around. Big as he is, he’s not used to people being able to do that to him without his say-so, but Vas definitely can. “No, you don’t get to do that. I’ve been letting you get away with a lot when it comes to me and you. I don’t even know why, because that’s not me. I don’t let people play me like that.”

And again, they’re back to Josh not knowing what the _fuck_ is going on. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means I’m not letting you walk all over me on this! _Or_ walk away from me.” 

That ain’t fair. “I’m just trying to do what you want here.” 

“You don’t know shit about what I want,” Vas says, sounding angry as hell. “This is what you always do, Josh. Anytime I try to get serious with you, you treat it like a joke, or like it doesn’t matter. I’m tired of it.”

“Then just say what you want to say,” Josh demands, starting to get mad too. 

Vas lets his arm go, at least. “You going to listen to me this time?”

“I would have listened the first damn time if you’d told me to do it,” Josh says. 

“I shouldn’t have to tell you to listen to me,” Vas argues. “You should know to do it.” He doesn’t give Josh a chance to tell him to fuck off with that bullshit, which might be for the best. “I don’t want this to just go back to what it was. I can’t do that anymore. We shouldn’t have been doing it in the first place.” 

“You didn’t seem to be complaining,” Josh says, some mix of hurt and anger fighting it out in his chest. It’s not like he’d twisted Vas’ arm about it, or anything. “You didn’t want me like that, that was all you had to say. I wouldn’t have said shit about it again.”

Vas pushes his hair back, his curls falling right back down after. “Jesus, Josh, I’m not saying I didn’t want it. I did.” 

“Then why the fuck are you throwing that in my face like that?” Getting mad isn’t helping anything, but Josh can’t help it. Vas acting like sleeping with Josh was such a big mistake hurts worse than it should, and Christ, Josh is a fucking idiot. This is what always happens when he lets anyone in close. “You don’t want to be around me, fine, I get it, that’s not new -”

“Josh, shut up.” 

He does. Doesn’t know why, but he does. Something about the way Vas says it just cuts right through the bullshit in Josh’s head, and has him listening. 

Vas reaches out then, and cups Josh’s jaw. It’s a soft kind of gesture he’s not used to outside of sex, and he doesn’t know what to do. “I’m not other people, Josh. Alright?” Josh doesn’t think he can talk right this second without his voice cracking, so he doesn’t, just nods. “I don’t want to do with the friends-with-benefits thing anymore. That’s what I’m telling you. That’s what I told you the other night. I don’t want to do that, because you and me? I want that to be for real.” He doesn’t move his hands, doesn’t look away. “You don’t want that, I’ll deal. But I’m not doing this to myself anymore. It’s killing me. I know you said you don’t do relationships, but it felt like you and me, we were moving towards that, and I was letting myself believe we would just kind of ease into it. But now, I don’t know what’s going on.” His hands move down to cup the back of Josh’s neck. “So you got to tell me, Josh.” 

Josh has to swallow, look somewhere else. That’s a lot to take in, especially for him. “I never said I don’t do relationships.”

“You told me you’ve never dated anyone.” 

Yeah, Josh had said that, way back in the beginning, but Vas took that a different way than the one Josh meant. “It’s kind of hard to do that when no one’s interested.” It’s not something that he’s ever let get to him. He’s never been all that interested in anyone anyway, outside of some fun. “In case you missed it, I’m not the kind of guy someone brings home to mom.”

And he’s never cared; he was cool with who he was. Had to be, or he’d never get anywhere. Then Vas came along.

“I don’t know,” Vas says. “My mom likes you.” It kind of makes Josh laugh, because that’s true, and Vas is closer now, both his hands coming down to Josh’s waist, one of his fingers hooking into Josh’s belt loop, and all that anger in Josh’s chest drains out, gets replaced by something he can’t quite name. “I really like you. I don’t know why, sometimes, but I do. You and me, feels like we work. Like we could work really well, if that’s what you want.” 

He’s really hoping he’s finally got a handle on this conversation, that Vas is saying what Josh thinks he is. “You trying to ask me to go steady?” 

“You’re an idiot,” Vas says, but he rests his temple against Josh’s, lets Josh wrap his arms around Vas’ neck. “If I can find my class ring, I’ll give it to you, yeah?” He kisses Josh then, and stays against him. “I’m serious, Josh. I want this. I want to be with you for real.”

He’s still struggling with the part where this is an option, but it is, and okay. Yeah. “Not saying I’ll be any good at it. I’m still me.” 

“That’s alright,” Vas reassures him, kissing him. “I like how you are.” Kisses him again. “I really do.”

For all that, they still have to eat. Food is still edible by the time they get to it, not that that would have stopped Vas anyway. Josh isn’t looking to waste it either. It feels weird to him, sitting down to eat like they always do, but it’s a different kind of weird. He knows Vas, and he knows Vas isn’t going to just pull the rug out from under him now, but there’s still that fragile thing beating around in him, wondering what comes next, if it’s really going to be this easy to slide into this. 

But they eat, and do the dishes, like they do pretty much every night. There’s more touching now. Little stuff that Josh thinks he could get used to, wants to get used to, like Vas putting his hand between Josh’s shoulder blades, working his fingers in right where it always pulls a little when Josh has to spend too long hunched over their sink, or Vas kissing him when he asks Josh if he’s ready to go up for the night. 

They end up in Vas’ room without really talking about it. He’s done laundry at some point, so the bed smells good. Vas likes the nice dryer sheets that smell like flowers. Josh likes it too, if he’s telling the truth, he’s just not willing to spend the extra two dollars on that box. 

“So.” It feels safer to talk about this again when they’re in here, sitting in the bed, Vas lighting a bowl. “How’s this all work?” Do people still go on dates? Is that still a thing? Can’t be all that different from when they usually get a chance to go out.

“Now, you gotta let me do this,” he leans across what little space there is, and kisses Josh, “without freaking out that someone will see. We do this,” he gestures at the room, “just like we were before. I keep bringing you lunch. You bring me some. And I get to tell people we’re together.” 

That doesn’t sound too hard. “Think I can manage that without fucking up.”

Vas scoffs, and takes a hit, passes it to Josh. “You’re going to fuck up, Josh. So am I.” While Josh is exhaling smoke, Vas kisses his neck. “It’s not the end of the world. We fuck up, we say we’re sorry, and we talk about it.” He stays where he is, his mouth against Josh’s skin. “I bring you home to my mom, and she gets to say ‘I told you so’.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Now Vas sits back up enough he can take a turn, shaking his head while he holds the smoke in his mouth a second, before breathing out a sloppy smoke ring. “She’s my mom, Josh. She knew how I felt about you after I brought you home the first time.” 

That was awhile ago. That kind of gives Josh a good feeling, that Vas has been feeling some way about him for that long, and it’s still there. “We weren’t even doing nothing back then.”

“Already knew how I felt about you, Josh.” 

Josh can’t think of anything to say to that, nothing that makes sense anyway. Just that, even back then, he’d been after every second of Vas’ attention he could get. Didn’t really know why, just knew he wanted it. Fuck, how long has he been into Vas, really? Maybe it really was right from the start, stupid as that was. 

This doesn’t feel like a bad choice though. Feels like how it should be, lying here in Vas’ bed, all tangled up with Vas while they smoke, passing the bowl back and forth until it’s done. He’s that comfortable place of being just high enough he doesn’t hear all the worrying about how this can go wrong in his head anymore, just Vas humming something while he strokes Josh’s back. 

“Hey, Vas,” he says. 

“Hm?”

“Did I say anything back? About wanting you?” 

“It was implied,” Vas says.

Josh sits up on his elbows, bracketing Vas’ head. “I really like you, Vas.” He knocks their heads together, almost kissing Vas. “Want to be with you, for real.” He can feel Vas’ hands on his waist, so he takes the hint and straddles Vas. “That good?”

“Yeah, Josh. That’s good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun! And now it's done. :(
> 
> But soon! Soon there will be Christmas fic for this 'verse!


End file.
